tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-332718722024-03-07T08:50:54.229+00:00Spanked, not SilencedPandora Blake's blogPandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.comBlogger592125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-59203753728715775312011-04-19T15:53:00.002+01:002011-04-19T17:11:53.656+01:00New url: www.PandoraBlake.comThis blog has moved permanently to its new home at <a href="http://www.pandorablake.com/">www.pandorablake.com</a>. Please update your bookmarks, feed readers, and link lists. If your browser doesn't automatically redirect you, click on the link to follow me to my new URL:<br />
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<a href="http://www.pandorablake.com/">www.pandorablake.com</a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-85550876154990838132011-04-16T21:27:00.006+01:002011-04-16T22:13:33.829+01:00Wanted: male spanking performersThere's been some <a href="http://www.eltercerojo.net/2011/04/h8-keep-em-out-of-sight.html">excellent</a> <a href="http://innocentindy.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/homophobia-in-the-scene-revisited/">discussion</a> this week about discrimination among spanking afficionados, especially site owners and event organisers, against M/m couples and content. I haven't had the chance to engage with the debate yet, although you can probably <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/01/mm-and-gender-equality-in-spanking-porn.html">imagine where I stand</a>.<br />
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Conversation and debate are essential, but so are actions. Specifically, so are positive, creative actions; I'd rather make the porn I want to see than criticise other producers for not making it. I haven't had the time or energy to contribute to the blog discussion yet. But inbetween reading other people's comments I have been thinking about the fact that I intended to launch my site with some M/m video, and it's the one orientation I haven't shot yet. I would have by now, but suitable performers are thin on the ground. So this is my (initial) response to the discussion, in the hope that I will be able to effect change with actions rather than words.<br />
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<b>WANTED: Spanking performers for M/m video productions.</b><br />
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I'm interested in hearing from male tops and bottoms who fulfil the following criteria:<br />
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- You're a keen spankophile or kinky chap aged between 18-45. You're at ease with your kink and comfortable expressing it in performance.<br />
- You are comfortable acting out non-sexual spanking scenarios with other men as a top or bottom.<br />
- Ideally, you have some professional or amateur acting experience, on stage or screen. If not, you can demonstrate an interest in performance and roleplay, and have the confidence, presence and improvisation skills to back it up.<br />
- You have enough experience giving or receiving spankings to convince me that you know what you're doing. (If your experience has mostly been with spanking professionals, please do let me know their names so I can contact them for a reference.)<br />
- If you're a top, you can demonstrate that you are skillful and safe using your hands or implements to administer discipline.<br />
- If you're a bottom, you can demonstrate that you have enough experience to be aware of your own preferences and limits.<br />
- You are willing to have images of your face and bottom published publically online, under a stage name of your choice (full frontal nudity is not required).<br />
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I'm offering a decent rate of pay plus your travel costs (within the UK) for a day's work creating spanking stills and video content. You'll need photo ID and I'll ask you to sign a model release. We'll look after you, treat you like the professional you are, respect your limits without question, and provide catering and accommodation if necessary. <br />
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I'd be particularly interested in hearing from young or youthful looking spankees, men of colour, and male/male couples who have good chemistry and would be willing to share their play on camera.<br />
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If this is you, please send an email introducing yourself to info at pandoras-bot dot com. Include at least one face shot of yourself, and one full body shot (spankees should include a shot of their bottom if possible).<br />
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<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/butlerdidit-1.jp"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/butlerdidit-1.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<small>Your bottom doesn't have to be as beautiful as Jimmy Holloway's, but if it is, it'll help.</small><br />
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In addition to the above, I'm also interested in hearing from male spankees fitting the above criteria who would like to be considered for F/m productions. If you're applying for F/m work you don't have to be comfortable working with other men - but it'll endear you to me if you are.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-12832198852135589352011-04-14T21:43:00.001+01:002011-04-14T21:47:25.888+01:00Schoolgirls in Space!Here's an awesome thing: <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking Institute</a> have just released a spanko sci-fi satire to warm the <s>cockles</s> consoles of geeks everywhere. Starring the "comedy core" NSI cast of Amelia Jane Rutherford, Leia-Ann Woods, Paul Kennedy and Amy Hunter (whom you may remember from Strictly Come Spanking!, among myriad other projects), Schoolgirls in Space is described as the closest the team have come to producing a "Carry On" film. If you like a dash of laughter with your kink, or if you've ever enjoyed classic British sci-fi like Doctor Who (or spoofs like Red Dwarf), this is for you.<br /><br />Schoolgirls in Space <a href="http://spankingamy.blogspot.com/2011/04/they-said-it-would-never-be-made.html">apparently started out</a> as a dare to come up with an original schoolgirl spanking scenario, and that it certainly achieves. I'm told that unlike many web clips, this one was scripted, resulting in a snappy back-and-forth of witty dialogue, laced with geeky references and terrible puns (and, no doubt, great potential for cock-ups - I'm looking forward hugely to seeing the out takes from this one).<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/schoolgirls-in-space1.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/schoolgirls-in-space2.jpg" /></a><br /><br />There is no denying that this film is very, very silly. Featuring tin foil hats (remember: they're keeping you safe), arachnid-invested swimming pools, regulation space underwear, a nasal-voiced space stewardess and unexpected lingerie-related incidents, this is not for those who take their kink too seriously. The NSI crew gleefully and mercilessly rip off sci-fi, schoolgirl spanking scenarios, the vagaries of air travel and themselves. The result is gloriously entertaining, with several laugh out loud moments.<br /><br />Pornography and satire have always gone hand in hand. It's impossible to resist the urge to remake our favourite entertainment with more explicit content, and if you're doing so with a lower budget and a sense of humour, remake almost inevitably becomes pisstake. Some have criticised Schoolgirls in Space as nonsense. If so, it is extremely high quality nonsense. The script is witty and delivered with perfect deadpan timing. The actors are watchable, charming and very nice to look at. A great deal of care has gone into the set and costumes, with perfectly matching school uniforms, an extremely impressive futuristic set by the design wizards at Restrained Elegance, a lovely latex outfit for Amelia and matching metallic accessories for the ship's crew, including a silver-coloured cane. Comedy it may be, but it's well crafted. Even the tinfoil hats and flight console represent more effort than goes into many spanking productions, as do the silly sound effects (which bring the whole thing together perfectly, in my opinion).<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/schoolgirls-in-space3.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Whether it serves to satisfy as pornography is a question of personal taste. For me, this clip is closer to a clever, laugh-out-loud burlesque show than a straightforward erotic striptease. The spankings are extended and the caning hard enough to leave visible red welts, but the giggle-inducing dialogue stimulated my funny bone and my brain as much as my clit. <br /><br />As titillating, kink-positive, fabulously satirical spanko entertainment, Schoolgirls in Space is a total success. This is one to show your pervy and geeky friends, especially the ones who need putting at ease with the CP aspect of their kink, and I'll definitely be re-watching it.<br /><br />Click below to download the trailer: <br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/SIS-trailer.mp4"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/schoolgirls-in-space-trailer.jpg" /></a><br /><br />And the full video can be viewed online at <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking</a>.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-9281479205923118952011-04-11T18:08:00.002+01:002011-04-11T18:11:15.441+01:00Delicious domesticityThings are pretty good at home right now. The sun is shining, and we're all basically solar powered. Tom and I have been making more effort to spend time together and put each other first, and it's paying off. His health and my work commitments still aren't predictable enough for us to plan for intense scenes, but we've done pretty well at unplanned scenes lately.<br /><br />As this year has progressed I've become more active, more healthy and more productive. It's a positive curve and I'm proud of the progress I've made. It means I have a stab at achieving what I've set out to do - launch a self-funded spanking site through freelance work and my own energies alone, alongside various ongoing not-for-profit commitments. The strategy I'm working on means I have to work three times as hard as I ever have before. Firstly, I have to earn a living wage. This is getting easier the older I get, and the further my career develops; a few years ago I was living hand to mouth, but I'm now debt-free and able to put something aside each month. Which is useful, because secondly, I have to save up a couple more grand to invest in my site to get it off the ground. Thirdly, I have to save up enough to pay my bills and living expenses for a couple of months, in order to buy <i>myself</i> a couple of months to get all my editing finished and build the site. <br /><br />This is the main reason progress has been so slow, why the launch date keeps getting put back. It's also the reason I've been working this year as if someone had lit a fire under my tail. I've been running around like a mad thing trying to earn three times as much as normal so I can save two thirds of it. And I've been winning; I have enough contracts lined up that between them they're covering my budget, and I'm not taking any more work on for other people after that. The downside is that my energy for anything other than work is peeled back to the bare minimum. I'm not keeping up with activism or political organisation at the moment. My good friends who are oft-time lovers are, at the moment, just friends; I'm barely getting enough couple time with my primary partners, and I have almost no social or romantic energy beyond that. I'm happy enough, but Tom has had to put up with me having almost no free time, and being very tired whenever we do make time together.<br /><br />So instead of romantic date nights, he's started helping me with the small stuff. He brings me tea to get me up in the morning. He reminds and encourages me to do the physio exercises that D is helping me keep track of. We've started going to the gym together. He offers to rub my back. We aren't quite yet at the point of turning any of this into a formalised discipline relationship, but I respect him enough to follow his suggestions when he makes them, and his attentiveness has been both lovely and extraordinarily helpful. <br /><br />All this is making it sound like he's turned into my support staff. Perhaps he has, a little; but we've always been very good at caring for each other, far better than at caring for ourselves. We support and help each other, and that has always been mutual. What's changed recently is that rather than simply picking me up at the end of my hard day, Tom has started engaging with my day itself.<br /><br />And that's where we've had most success with play, lately. Twice recently, a particularly hard, frustrating day has put me in a stressed, irritable mood. Work stress, things not going to plan, the internet not working, accidentally bashing myself against pieces of furniture, headaches, backaches. I go into Tom's room and he pulls me onto his lap for a cuddle. I growl about my day. And it suddenly seems obvious, to both of us, how to fix it. I take my tea back to my desk with a 15 minute warning, and at the end of it, he comes through, quiet and gentle, and leads me to the bed.<br /><br />The first time, he started with his belt. As I watched the shadow of it fall on the wall I thought <i>I can't do this, not cold</i>; but when the impact landed I devoured it. He wasn't going full force, but he wasn't messing about, either, and as I warmed up I slipped into a place where I couldn't take enough. Once my behind was glowing from the belt he got out a couple of canes and proceeded to make me sigh into the pillows. <br /><br />The second time, one of the things making my day difficult was an aching muscle after my first squash lesson. My right glut had throbbed the day after, but the day after that a muscle in the top of my left thigh, right in the crease of my bottom, was shrieking with pain. My desk chair just seemed to be making it worse, and by the afternoon it was really pissing me off. I'd been idly wondering all day whether spanking would help or not, and I enjoyed finding out.<br /><br />The impact of each smack didn't alleviate the muscle ache itself, not quite as I'd hoped it would. And my soreness made me more sensitive to the pain. Tom sat beside my shoulders and reached down my body to whack first one cheek then the other with his broad, strong palms. It felt shockingly hard, but the angle was enjoyable, with the sensitive skin on the lower half of my bottom receiving all the attention. He spent some time painting my arse various shades of pink, and amusing himself making handprints. And afterwards, the glow of endorphins managed what ibuprofen hadn't, the tension flowed out of me and my limbs bathed with good feeling.<br /><br /><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/delicious-domesticity.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /><br /><br />It's amazing how much a spanking can turn a shitty day around. And it's a surefire way to guarantee that Tom and I will get distracted; the sort of spontaneous loving which leaves us feeling connected and intimate, without either of us putting pressure on ourselves beforehand to perform. I go back for another few hours of productive work, refreshed, relaxed and energised. And when we snuggle up tiredly at night, that connection is still there. It's all good.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-73845284905519120642011-04-06T18:33:00.001+01:002011-04-06T18:53:46.708+01:00Acquiescence<p align="justify">I have some very exciting news.<br /><br />A film I started making nearly four years ago is now, finally, available. Tom and I wrote and filmed <i>Acquiescence</i> with Michael Stamp and Stephen Lewis for <a href="http://control-and-reform.com/">Control and Reform</a> in the summer of 2007, but the process of <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2009/03/editing-acquiescence.html">editing</a> and finishing it has been a long and drawn out one (with some <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/03/guvs-revenge.html">spankings</a> along the way!). I haven't seen the final cut yet, but Michael Stamp has just sent me a trailer and the news that it's ready. Click on the picture to download the five-minute video preview:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.control-and-reform.com/previews/trlr_acquiescence.wmv"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence-trailer.jpg" /></a><br /><br />This remains one of my favourite projects, and I'm very proud of it. It's a dark, psychological interrogation thriller set in a dystopian near-future. My character is dragged from her bed and into a state van in the middle of the night, and taken to a secure facility where she is questioned and isolated. She was never particularly political and her arrest comes as a complete and total shock. She has no idea what information they after, and (apart from references to certain forbidden sexual habits) she is never accused of anything more specific than "sedition". Her interrogators are verbally aggressive, but never touch her; and during the night and the long periods of solitude she is frequently hauled from her cell, blindfolded and shivering, and beaten by anonymous figures who never speak a word. <br /><br />Then one day, a new interrogator arrives; a smooth-talking, civilised, quiet man who offers her bargains, playing increasingly complex mind games with her in an effort to undo her sense of time and identity. As the beatings and the interrogations escalate, she retreats inwards, clinging to whispered mantras as she escapes inwards to the safe space inside herself. When the final reckoning comes, she doesn't even know which side her interrogators are on. Are they trying to break her, or are they double agents, trying to re-make her as an activist with a renewed sense of purpose, strength and justice?<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Acquiescence-DVD.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Acquiescence-DVD.jpg" style="width:600px;" /></a><br /><br />While this film is a Control and Reform production, it's not currently available to download from their website - new updates aren't being added at present, pending its re-launch as a members' site. Drop me an <a href="mailto:info@pandoras-bot.com">email</a> if you want more info about the DVD release.<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence001.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence001.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence002.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence002.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence007.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence007.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence008.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence008.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence014.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence014.jpg" style="height:115px;" /></a> <br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence018.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence018.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence022.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence022.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence027.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence027.jpg" style="height:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence026.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence026.jpg" style="height:115px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence032.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/acquiescence032.jpg" style="width:115px;" /></a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-73617357664836748312011-04-01T19:45:00.000+01:002011-04-01T19:45:29.980+01:00Communicating by touch<p align="justify">I'm an inconveniently light sleeper. I've also suffered from insomnia my whole life - as far as I can tell, the primary cause is having too much to do, and a brain that is extremely reluctant to turn itself off. Since moving out of London I've managed to develop a routine which has mostly suppressed my getting-to-sleep insomnia, but I still tend to wake throughout the night - and have the same struggle getting back to sleep every time I do.<br />
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I recently obtained some ear plugs for the first time to see if they helped me sleep next to a lover who snores. I'd previously only encountered people using the things at nightclubs or while skydiving, those foam ones you have to push in. These were a new design: gel pads which you push over the ear canal to form a seal. They're far more comfortable, and surprisingly effective. As soon as I started using them I realised how much of my wakefulness is in response to sound. Suddenly I'm able to sleep through the night, or take naps in the middle of the day, or get to sleep even when the neighbours are playing loud music. It's incredible - and Tom, a fellow insomniac, has had similar success after I recommended he try them.<br />
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The other night, for the first time, we both bedded down together with our ear plugs in. Mostly I've used them while sleeping alone. I realised as soon as we were both deprived of hearing how frequently Tom and I communicate in words. We talk a lot: we have always bonded through in depth conversations; we rarely run out of things to say to one another. Even at the end of the night, preparing ourselves for sleep, we exchange words along with cuddles, sweet nothings, verbal love and affection to reassure and soothe each other. (By contrast, D uses words sparingly; I hadn't noticed any difference when wearing ear plugs in bed with him, as he tends to respond to my remarks non-verbally anyway.)<br />
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Sharing our small, temporary sensory deprivation, Tom and I snuggled up to each other in the dark. I would open my mouth to say something, remember he wouldn't be able to hear and kiss him instead. I became very aware of the places where we touched: his hand lightly stroking my spine, my hand sliding around the smooth skin of his torso, thighs pressed against each other. Each touch became resonant with meaning. Eyes closed, I could hear little beyond the pulse of blood in my skull. We could only communicate by touch, and something about it was profoundly intimate.<br />
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Sensory deprivation is a common tool for BDSM practitioners, usually experienced by the submissive in a scene. It's not something I've played with myself apart from the occasional blindfold or gag, and I've certainly never heard of a dominant taking part too. It made me wonder what it would be like to be spanked in this state of heightened sensory awareness; deprived of sight and hearing, how much more acute the experience of being over my dom's knee might be. <br />
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Playing in a night club is the closest I've come to that experience, where the wall of sound from dancefloor and crowd drowns out subtleties; if you aren't within a few inches of someone it's difficult to hear each other without shouting. When I'm bent over a whipping bench, head down, and my dom/me is standing behind me, the usual verbal check-ins are not possible over the noise of the club. My partner has to pause, bend down, speak into my ear; or else communicate with a hand on my back, a caress, a shoulder squeeze, a brush with the flogger or warning tap of the cane. But I can't reply, not without breaking position. <br />
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It's an intense way to play, but it's also difficult. Scenes can go awry more easily without the direct feedback provided by vocal response. And both parties have to work harder to communicate.<br />
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I find myself curious about the idea of a scene in which both me and my dom wore ear plugs. If I were blindfolded as well, we would be even more dependent on our sense of touch. What would it be like, being hit without the evocative sounds created by different implements? The cane would sneak up on you out of nowhere. Heavy paddles and straps would announce themselves with a <i>whomp</i> of air before they landed. Would hand spankings feel as sharp without the loud crack of palm hitting flesh? Would every sensation be more welcome, without any other way for me to experience the closeness of my partner? <br />
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I'm not sure if I'm going to suggest such a scene or not, but it's fascinating to think about the different role each sense plays in this thing we do.<br />
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<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/2009-12-14-Brothel-m557-wm.png"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/2009-12-14-Brothel-m557-wm.png" style="width: 300px;" /></a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-49779671550930008602011-03-25T01:39:00.001+00:002011-03-25T01:46:53.987+00:00When a caning is just what you need<p align="justify">Frustrated by not being able to run any other processes while editing video, I recently souped up my four year old Dell to a whopping 4GB of RAM - the maximum I can get without replacing the motherboard. It's much more capable of multitasking as a result, but file conversions and rendering still take bloody ages. I set the "<a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/03/how-to-make-housework-more-interesting.html">Scrubbing a floor naked for 60 minutes</a>" video I was putting together for my client rendering at about midday, and it's still going now. Admittedly that's an hour's film at DVD quality, but still. I need a new PC.<br /><br />Since I'm not going to be able to sleep as long as my computer is whirring fit to take off, I may as well tell you about the spanking I got this evening. D and I left it far too long between dealing with my accumulated misdemeanours. It's been a horrendously busy month for me, so I've had little time for exercise; that, combined with snatched, tired time together meant that I'd built up a hefty score to settle. As he was doing the maths I groaned and asked if we could deal with some of it next time. I didn't expect him to go for it, but he did, and when I discovered that the total was over a hundred swats with the brush, I was relieved. <br /><br />He let me go over his knee this time, and I was grateful - the physical contact made me less afraid, although it didn't really make it hurt less. I was due 42 this time for missed exercises, with 48 still to come; plus 12 for two missed check-ins. The 42 came in long, brisk sequences, more than six at a time, at least it felt like it; possibly in tens. Although I had the reassuring warmth of his thighs under my hips I didn't even get a rub inbetween sets, or a word from him, until we were most of the way through. I am developing a healthy fear of that brush, I can tell you; he doesn't even have to use it hard and it stings like hell. <br /><br />I found myself experimenting with ways of processing the pain. Holding my breath. Clenching my teeth. Stuffing the duvet cover in my mouth. Kicking, yelling, cursing, hissing through my teeth. Taking deep breaths. Howling. Nothing helped me get through it except time and endurance, and then I was hanging limply over his lap, out of breath, amazed at the ability of that piece of wood to break through all my experience and enthusiasm to render me completely helpless.<br /><br />The last twelve, for failing to make my daily check-in twice, were <i>hard</i>. I opted for the "yelling" approach this time. <br /><br />Then it was over, and after a very welcome rub I got an affectionate smack, which my whole body responded to by going <i>yes! That's more like it! That I can deal with!</i> I communicated this to D, and got a lovely short, firm hand-spanking in return which, bizarrely, felt like balm to my blazing cheeks.<br /><br />D reminded me that my health is more important than almost anything else, and when I'd conceded his point we settled into some serious cuddling. My arse was glowing hot with two hard round spots in the middle of each cheek. I huffed and exclaimed and took the piss out of myself for being such a wimp, and he tried to make me feel better:<br /><br />"Whhhyyyyy did I sign up to this, I am so stupid."<br /><br />"Because you're a good girl. And you want to be a better girl."<br /><br />"STUPID."<br /><br />I bemoaned the strange effect the brush had on me - it's so weird that I can take canings so readily and this just flips me out, I have no way of processing it calmly. "Actually," I said, half in jest, "I could do with a caning right now, that'd make me feel like less of a wuss."<br /><br />"Well, there's one right here," he observed.<br /><br />So I lay over a pillow on the bed and offered him my throbbing arse, and D took advantage of my already being warmed up to thrash me soundly with the 12mm dragon cane that had been standing by the bed. <br /><br />I didn't count the strokes - 24? 30? My whole body welcomed the familiar, beloved sensation. I breathed into it, bathed in it, until I was awash with pleasure.<br /><br />And all was well with the world.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-34187689345998980182011-03-23T18:01:00.001+00:002011-03-23T18:09:52.670+00:00Room 33<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/20054789" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/20054789">Room 33 Erika Lust</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user2617213">boolab</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p><br />This is another acclaimed short film from Erika Lust, the talented feminist producer who brought us <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/04/handcuffs-by-erika-lust.html">Handcuffs</a>. Minimal, tantalising, the film follows a couple checking into a hotel with a difference. This five minute short is a conceptual piece - it's more about stimulating the imagination than gratification on camera - and the concept is absolutely delightful. I want to stay in that hotel! Doesn't everyone? <br /><br />It also includes some hot F/m moments, highly erotic glimpses of an MMF threesome, and enough subtext and charged glances to fill a fair few fantasies. I'd love to have seen the extended version of this film, but I admire it for what it is - a condensed, lust-provoking snapshot into an extremely hot, and rather kinky, idea.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-84019737336160822622011-03-17T22:19:00.006+00:002011-03-17T22:35:24.189+00:00Eye-catching spanking photos<p align="justify">I've just been doing a bit of catching up on spanking blogs after a week or so in which my vanilla life completely took over. It's not been a long break, but I haven't really thought about kink much at all, and despite my extensive collection of drafts and post ideas I'm finding it a bit tough to get back into the blogging headspace.<br /><br />So, by way of easing back into it, here's a round up of spanking photos which have recently caught my eye for one reason or another...<br /><br /><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/0062.jpg" /><br />Chelsea Pfeiffer spanking Sinn Sage on <a href="http://www.spanksinn.com">Spank Sinn</a><br /><br />I love Sinn's posture of surrender, her bowed head and the elegant line of her back. I love the natural light in these shots (as in much of Sinn's work), the subtle lines of light and shadow across the thighs, and the way the sunlight catches the line of the strap, naturally calling attention to it.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=942392-0000&PA=2200497"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/gguide56.jpg" /></a><br />Irelynn Logeen spanking Leia-Ann Woods on <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=942392-0000&PA=2200497">Triple A Spanking</a><br /><br />Who doesn't like old-style Girl Guide uniforms? I love them, and I also love candid shots of actors having fun in between the serious posing. Spanking shoots are mostly, in my experience, extraordinarily camp, silly affairs, and it's always nice to get a glimpse of the fun reality behind the fantasy.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=914363-0008&PA=1455076"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/10101_016.jpg" /></a><br />Mr King spanking Ivy and Brooke at <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=914363-0008&PA=1455076">Real Spankings Institute</a><br /><br />I'm not so keen on the composition of this one - a landscape picture would have worked better to get all three figures in - but I love the facial expressions of the two girls. <br /><br /><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/sophie_charge2_05.jpg" /><br />Unnamed top (man, when will companies learn not to do this!) spanking Sophia Nova on <a href="http://dallasspankshard.com">Dallas Spanks Hard</a><br /><br />The first thing that struck me was the perfect bubble curve of Sophia's pinkened bottom. Once I was looking, I noticed her shapely legs; the elegant lift of one foot; the intensity in the top's expression, and the incredibly real look on her face. Flushed, slightly sweaty - breathless - absorbed - overwhelmed. It's halfway between distress and ecstasy. I love feeling like that.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=927360-0000&PA=1894090&HTML=http://www.myspankingroommate.com/main.html"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/r75e28.jpg" /></a><br />Ashley spanking Kay Richards on <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=927360-0000&PA=1894090&HTML=http://www.myspankingroommate.com/main.html">My Spanking Roommate</a><br /><br />I love the impression of motion in this one, the sense that Kay has just been tipped, indignant, over Ashley's lap. Kay also has the most deliciously rounded bottom which is shown off perfectly by this low angle. Lovely!<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924153-0000&PA=2219883"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/tc2_h03.jpg" /></a><br />Unnamed models on <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924153-0000&PA=2219883">Cutie Spankee</a>, in "The Teacher's Humiliation"<br /><br />Like all the photography to come out of Cutie Spankee, the lighting, colouring and composition in this shot are exceptional, a cut above most of the images that come out of the UK and US spanking studios. But this image leapt out at me, not only because of the beauty of the models, but because of its surreality. Clicking through and reading the scene synopsis I learn that one teacher is being humiliated by another by being forced to wear tight student gym shorts. But at first glance, it's deliciously weird: the inexplicable stepladder, placing the spankee's bottom almost level with the top's head; the bizarre combination of tight shorts with smart jacket; the dramatic yet completely unnecessary pot plant in the background. Out of context, it's dreamlike in its weirdness, and I find that very exciting. Anything could happen!<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI081CLLD129.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI081CLLD063.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI081CLLD040.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Leia-Ann Woods spanking Kami Robertson, Emma Bishop and Donna Davenport on <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking</a> in "Behind the Bike Sheds". I didn't initially realise that the first photo was from the same set as the second two, since it didn't include the distinctive purple blazers (I would have been SO happy if those had been the uniform at my school). <br /><br />There's lots of things I like about these pics. The atmospheric, nostalgic set and props really work for me. I love the wooden chest under the desk and the red leather teacher's chair.<br /><br />The first shot is a great three-figure composition - the cane slicing a line across the middle, pointing from Ms Woods (who is given classic cinematic right-hand dominance in the frame) to the two girls. Kami's gracefully vulnerable body language. Donna's curious, slightly tense over-shoulder peek. <br /><br />Ms Woods looks stunning in the second photo, directing a witheringly beautiful "you're next" look at Donna over the hapless girl across her lap.<br /><br />And the third one caps it off - a between-takes candid shot of spanker and spankee grinning at each other while Leia-Ann blows on her hand to cool it. The implication of the hard hand spanking she's just given makes this behind-the-scenes shot, for me, one of the hottest of all.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-19325078331300689642011-03-10T23:13:00.000+00:002011-03-10T23:13:19.917+00:00Bathbrush, meet thighs<p align="justify">My discipline deal with D (how's that for an alliterative beginning?) has been revealing so far. To my surprise, I've pretty much kept within my drinking limits, apart from one week which included two birthday parties and two other boozy social occasions.¹ And my gym schedule has been easy to maintain, at least when I'm at home and not gallivanting around the country. But the daily physio exercises I'm meant to do to help my long-term back pain - day after day, despite my best efforts, I'm failing to find the time.<br />
<br />
I tried doing them last thing before bed; but then by the time I've finished for the day, I'm flattened and just need my sleep. We haven't tried first thing in the morning yet as my morning routine is already longer than it should be, and I don't want half the day to disappear before I get down to work. I tried fitting them in as and when, but my schedule is already squeezed to bursting and I seem to never have a space of time when there isn't something urgent needing doing. D and I sat down and talked about it and agreed that a mid-afternoon break might work, since an excuse to get up from my desk and move around will help my back in any case. I have an alarm set for 15:00, but it always seems to go off when I'm in the middle of something super-important. My new idea is to set the snooze on it to half an hour, rather than five minutes, so chances are I'll have finished whatever I was busy with by the time it goes off again.<br />
<br />
I'm encouraged by my success in the other areas, and determined to break the back of this one (as it were). In the meantime, however, my record is fairly shoddy. The last time D and I settled the account, I was due 48 whacks with the bathbrush for missed physio exercises; a bonus 6 for missing a number of days in a row; plus 12 for going a week without a booze-free day. Hardly a glowing report. We talked about ways I could try and do better, but I did feel genuinely disappointed with myself, and D, while gentle, was not exactly impressed.<br />
<br />
So the tone was very different from our <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/02/evolution-of-punishment.html">last punishment session</a>. He asked me to undress completely, and as I lay on the bed I knew this wasn't going to be pleasant. D's manner was calm, but a little cold. The strokes for missed back exercises were so numerous that he didn't give them to me in sets of six, this time; just one extended application that did not care how much I wriggled or cried.<br />
<br />
I did cry, before we were halfway through. The tears squeezed themselves out onto the pillow and it felt good to surrender to the pain, to our collective disappointment, the shared sense that this punishment was thoroughly deserved. The last six, bonus strokes for missing my back exercises too many days in a row, were hard, and if I hadn't cried I might have screamed. <br />
<br />
But the worst came last: twelve hard whacks with the brush on my thighs. He delivered them with a clinical, even pace, starting at the top of one thigh and working down it for six, then back up the next. The pain was incredible. I gripped the rail at the head of the bed for dear life, willed my legs to stay still and not kick, and sobbed.<br />
<br />
I felt better afterwards, though. Admittedly rather sorry for myself, but less burdened by the knowledge of my failure.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/bathbrush-on-thighs.jpg"><image src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/bathbrush-on-thighs.jpg" style="height:300px;" /></a> <a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/bathbrush-on-thighs2.jpg"><image src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/bathbrush-on-thighs2.jpg" style="height:300px;" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
I'm sorry to say, however, that after all that the intervening weeks have been even busier, and my good intentions have continued to fail. I'm still not giving up - I want my health to improve, and I'm determined to find a way of making this system work for me. But the next accounting is likely to be another painful one.<br />
<br />
<small>1. I could perhaps blame Emma-Jane for the jugs of mojitos, but that would go against the spirit of spankee solidarity.²<br />
2. Which is, of course, Bacardi.</small>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-13728256999305244572011-03-08T19:50:00.000+00:002011-03-08T19:50:59.129+00:00How to make housework more interesting<p align="justify">Today I spent an hour scrubbing wooden floorboards, naked.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing1.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing1.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<br />
This was an intersection of many different aims. Most pressingly, the floor needed scrubbing. I also have a client who wanted to see a video of me cleaning floors in the nude. This was pretty convenient, as usually when I'm doing tedious chores I fantasise about being a hapless slave or scullery maid, mistreated and virtuous, forced to do boring housework rather than chasing her dreams. Ironic, really, that I have bucketloads of freedom, and my dreams mostly consist of making porn in which I am rather less free.<br />
<br />
I decided that scrubbing the floor naked would be <i>much</i> more fun if I'd recently been beaten, so I may as well make a short film for my own site as well as the custom clip for my client. Sadly, radiators and plug sockets around the walls meant an actual Victorian maid scenario would have been somewhat unconvincing. But that's okay, because it gave me an excuse to break the fourth wall and make a film about the act of fantasising, not the fantasy itself.<br />
<br />
Fittingly, today is <a href="http://www.internationalwomensday.com/">International Woman's Day</a> - a good day to make consensual D/s porn in which my boyfriend makes my fantasies come true. In the story, I'm meant to be scrubbing the floor on Saturday, and am not looking forward to the prospect - but when I come downstairs to start work, I discover that Tom has already cleared out the furniture and swept the floor for me, and is waiting looking rather dashing in a period waistcoat and cravat. My Victorian maid's uniform is waiting on a chair for me. It's his present to me, knowing how my mind tends to wander while I'm doing housework and wanting to make the chore more fun for both of us. I get dressed up in my maid's outfit, he gives me some lovely marks with the cane, and then I get undressed again (so as not to soil the costume) and set to work feeling warm, floaty and very loved. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing2.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing2.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<br />
I scrubbed for an hour, and the work went by ever so quickly - distracted by the rough wood under my bare knees, the cool air between my thighs and the glowing welts on my bottom. I can definitely recommend this as an approach to housework, if you can manage it!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing3.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/floorscrubbing3.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-47197201028393682902011-03-02T20:17:00.002+00:002011-03-02T20:19:59.616+00:00e[lust] #23<p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoJPB2UuiKdhps2Nxvk0XTFNyqg9vK8iEGu4pMa62NvWKtleD12yka87y_JvZ7czvsVb-n9T4YjfMFseDJcTmRvBPEIY2laasdjF_Amo0iKB0qnxDvkZ7bA7vvMErWj5zwS_L2Xw/s400/44_reverie.JPG"><br /><br /><strong>Welcome to<a title="About" href="http://elustsexblogs.com/" target="_blank"> e[lust]</a> </strong>- Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #24? Start with the <a title="About" href="http://elustsexblogs.com/about-2/" target="_blank">rules</a>, check out the schedule and subscribe to the <a href="http://feeds.feedblitz.com/elust" target="_blank">RSS feed</a> for updates!<br /><br /><strong>~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~</strong><br /><br /><a href="http://catqs.blogspot.com/2011/01/roadmaps-of-consent.html" target="_blank">Roadmaps of Consent</a> - <em>I fucking love consent. I love safewords. I can be much more cruel, and push much harder, if I trust my partner to tell me when I go too far.</em><br /><br /><a href="http://curvaceousdee.com/2011/01/staying-safe/" target="_blank">Staying Safe</a> - <em>One cock, from one man, missing one condom, ultimately led to my brother’s death. And that <em>sucks</em>.</em><br /><br /><a href="http://insatiabear.blogspot.com/2011/02/flying-friendly-skies.html" target="_blank">Flying the Friendly Skies</a> - <em>One button on her sweater was undone, there was a rip in her hose, scratches on her boots, and her hair was carelessly pinned back with stray wisps of hair escaping. There was a curious flavor of soiling about her, something a bit dirty and unkempt.</em><br /><br /><strong>~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~</strong><br /><br /><a href="http://dirtysexythoughts.wordpress.com/2011/01/29/labels-and-my-thoughts/" target="_blank">Labels and my thoughts...</a> -<em> In the past year and a half I have gone from being someone that was lost, without identity that fit, rattling around inside myself to someone that has names for what they are.</em></p><br /><p><strong>~ e[lust] Editress: </strong><a href="http://www.dangerouslilly.com" target="_blank">Dangerous Lilly</a><br /><br /><strong>See also</strong>: Pleasurists #<a href="http://pleasurists.com/2011/02/07/pleasurists-116/" target="_blank">116 </a>and #<a href="http://pleasurists.com/2011/02/14/pleasurists-117/" target="_blank">117 </a>for all your sex toy review needs<br /><br /><strong>Kink & Fetish</strong><br /><a href="http://kitoconnell.com/dollar-store/" target="_blank">5 Kinky Toys from the Dollar Store</a><br /><a href="http://bbgblog.com/2011/01/alive-in-my-skin/" target="_blank">Alive in my Skin</a><br /><a href="http://onesubsmission.blogspot.com/2011/01/dacryphilia.html" target="_blank">Dacryphilia</a><br /><a href="http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/2011/01/18/digitalized-for-posterity/" target="_blank">Digitalized for Posterity</a><br /><a href="http://harlotoverdrive.com/2011/01/17/eroti-ca/" target="_blank">Eroti...ca</a><br /><a href="http://missystarrk.blogspot.com/2011/02/filthy.html" target="_blank">filthy...</a><br /><a href="http://sapioslut.com/2011/01/24/he-ripped-a-string-of-orgasms-from-me-and-then-ramped-it-up/" target="_blank">He ripped a string of orgasms from me, and then ramped it up</a><br /><a href="http://www.leatheryenta.com/2011/01/29/manual-dexterity/" target="_blank">Manual Dexterity</a><br /><a href="http://www.diaryofakinkylibrarian.com/index.php/2011/02/01/nadias-surprise/" target="_blank">Nadia's Surprise</a><br /><a href="http://titsmcscandal.com/?p=2350" target="_blank">Orgasms, Spoons Rests, and Fishnets! (The Play Party)</a><br /><a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/01/punishment-humiliation-and-bondage.html" target="_blank">Punishment, humiliation and bondage</a><br /><a href="http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog/2011/02/02/schoolgirl-in-saturday-detention/" target="_blank">Schoolgirl in Saturday Detention</a><br /><a href="http://trinity-pup.blogspot.com/2011/02/steeling-show.html" target="_blank">Steeling The Show</a><br /><a href="http://www.domme-chronicles.com/2011/02/water-torture.html" target="_blank">Water torture</a><br /><br /><strong>Erotic Writing</strong><br /><a href="http://joeheather.blogspot.com/2011/01/little-night-music.html" target="_blank">A Little Night Music</a><br /><a href="http://serialadulterer.wordpress.com/2011/02/01/afternoon-darkness/" target="_blank">Afternoon darkness</a><br /><a href="http://blue-eyedvixen.com/2011/01/crisp-white-linens/" target="_blank">Crisp White Linens</a><br /><a href="http://gingertwist.tumblr.com/post/2788075616/dancing-with-then-kinkily-fucking-the-dj-part-i" target="_blank">dancing with (& then kinkily fucking) the dj</a><br /><a href="http://mystic-satyr.blogspot.com/2011/01/in-mirror-part-1.html" target="_blank">In the Mirror</a><br /><a href="http://mydesire.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/lope/" target="_blank">Lope</a><br /><a href="http://mandksbedroom.blogspot.com/2011/02/morning-sex.html" target="_blank">Morning Sex</a><br /><a href="http://oursexsecrets.com/my-first-anal-sex/" target="_blank">My First Anal Sex</a><br /><a href="http://threepennyupright.wordpress.com/2011/02/06/september-1935/" target="_blank">September 1935</a><br /><a href="http://ladygrinsoul.blogspot.com/2011/02/shutter.html" target="_blank">Shutter</a><br /><a href="http://myhotsexstorys.com/523/schoolgirl-part-1/" target="_blank">Schoolgirl Part 1</a><br /><a href="http://sexbabble.blogspot.com/2011/01/teenage-bukkake.html" target="_blank">Teenage Bukkake</a><br /><a href="http://vineyardroad.com/2011/02/03/transition/" target="_blank">Transition</a><br /><a href="http://fleurderenaissance.blogspot.com/2011/02/youre-gonna-keep-my-soul.html" target="_blank">You're Gonna Keep My Soul</a><br /><br /><strong>Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships</strong><br /><a href="http://elodieonlove.com/2011/01/a-doggie-kind-of-love/" target="_blank">A Doggie Kind of Love</a><br /><a href="http://www.nakedconfusion.com/2011/02/ashamed-are-you-kidding-me.html" target="_blank">Ashamed?! Are You Kidding Me?</a><br /><a href="http://corsetsandcardigans.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/giggles-groans-and-panting/" target="_blank">Giggles, Groans and Panting</a><br /><a href="http://debaucheddomesticdiva.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-can-imagine-how-you-feel.html" target="_blank">I Can Imagine How You Feel</a><br /><a href="http://neamhspleachas.com/sex-as-love/" target="_blank">Sex As Love</a><br /><a href="http://sexsecretsblog.com/6-moves-men-need-to-be-sex-gods-in-the-bedroom/" target="_blank">6 Moves Men Need to Be Sex Gods in the Bedroom</a><br /><a href="http://www.lustandconfused.com/2011/02/terminology-fundamentalism.html" target="_blank">Terminology Fundamentalism</a><br /><a href="http://bombshells-and-rockstars.com/604614315/the-come-hither-quiver-or-how-to-squirt/" target="_blank">The COME HITHER QUIVER -or- How To Squirt</a><br /><a href="http://nightsinwhitesatinonesoultwobodies.blogspot.com/2011/02/this-love.html" target="_blank">This Love</a><br /><a href="http://definingdelilah.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-i-want.html" target="_blank">What I Want</a><br /><br /><strong>Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor</strong><br /><a href="http://www.submissiveguide.com/2011/02/kinky-blogging-now-open/" target="_blank">Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com</a><br /><a href="http://www.heyepiphora.com/2011/02/porn-degradation-and-khan-tusion/" target="_blank">Porn, degradation, and Khan Tusion</a><br /><a href="http://andeatingit2.com/2011/02/14/women-with-two-vaginas/" target="_blank">Women With Two Vaginas</a><br /><a href="http://adelehaze.com/kink-virginity-and-big-tittied-whores/" target="_blank">Kink, virginity and big-tittied whores</a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-38134365165287637662011-03-01T23:25:00.000+00:002011-03-01T23:25:34.831+00:00Porn discussion round-up<p align="justify">Hello! I've had a brilliant few days away, including several kinky escapades which I will describe to you in due course. In the meantime, I have a growing collection of links I want to share with you in the wake of Lady Porn Day, so I thought I'd shove them all in a single post so I don't get overwhelmed by blog drafts.<br />
<br />
1.<br />
I really like this mini-comic <a href="http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,663683-3,00.html">Dirty Magazines</a> by Heather Bradley about a young woman's first encounters with porn. <br />
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<img src="http://www.gurl.com/images/showoff/comix/dirtymagazines/2.gif"><br />
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<img src="http://www.gurl.com/images/showoff/comix/dirtymagazines/3.gif"><br />
<br />
Obviously, I don't agree with the "no-one gets hurt" item in the narrator's definition of porn she's comfortable viewing, but I like the emphasis on the development of personal criteria. And you could more or less re-formulate it as "no-one gets harmed", using conventional BDSM distinctions between "hurt" and "harm".<br />
<br />
2. <br />
MayMay has written an excellent article unpacking the concept of "gaze" in porn, titled <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2011/02/22/breaking-pornographys-fourth-wall-erotic-satisfaction-as-a-function-of-gaze/#identifier_4_2716">Breaking Pornography's Fourth Wall: Erotic Satisfaction as a Function of Gaze</a>. Both article and comments are well worth reading.<br />
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<blockquote>Put simply, a gaze identifies a viewer, or a gazer. When a woman’s curves linger on-screen, as they so often do in cinema, or when a picture of, say, a “skinny white woman…baring it all” is shown, as it so often is in pornography, the viewer is commonly—and often rightly—assumed to be a heterosexual male.<br />
<br />
However, this conceptualization of gaze is limiting. Knowing who the gazer is tells us very little about how they are gazing. Part of understanding a person’s pornographic tastes relies on understanding whether their gaze is objectifying or embodying. An objectifying gaze is one in which the gazer—the consumer of the pornographic artifact—imagines themselves as observing the model in a pornographic image, while an embodying gaze is one in which they imagine themselves as being the model. <a href="http://maybemaimed.com/2011/02/22/breaking-pornographys-fourth-wall-erotic-satisfaction-as-a-function-of-gaze/#identifier_4_2716">Read more »</a></blockquote><br />
3.<br />
<a href="http://www.freedominapuritanage.co.uk/?p=1511">The Irrationality of the Anti-Sex Lobby</a> by Brooke Magnanti on <a href="http://www.freedominapuritanage.co.uk/">Freedom in a Puritan Age</a><br />
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<blockquote>The notion that exposure to sexualised imagery is a) different now than it has been in the past, and b) causes damage to children as a result, is widely assumed but not proven. Most of the reviews on the topic rely on data from adults viewing pornography, which is clearly not the same thing as children seeing a Bratz doll. In any case the results from adult studies are mixed, with a tendency to indicate that pornography may somewhat exacerbate, but does not itself cause, negative effects. The hype about sexualisation seems to assume a slippery slope that might not even have a fulcrum in the first place. <a href="http://www.freedominapuritanage.co.uk/?p=1511">Read more »</a></blockquote><br />
4.<br />
Finally, here's a refreshingly balanced take on porn legislation on the Guardian's Comment is Free, by <a href="http://twitter.com/kristina_lloyd">Kristina Lloyd</a> - <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/feb/22/pornography-jacqui-smith">Why doesn't Jacqui Smith take a relaxed view of pornography?</a><br />
<br />
<blockquote>And what might happen if people watched porn for hours on end? The implication is that this would be personally harmful and socially destabilising, a conclusion based in part on the notion that sexual pleasure is inherently corrupting. A great deal of lazy thinking, myth making, poor research and anecdotal evidence surrounds debates on the sex industry. A recent <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/news/2011/02/110218_pornography_debate.shtml">Cambridge debate</a> asking "Does pornography provide a good public service?" saw prominent, anti-porn campaigner, Gail Dines, <a href="http://sexademic.wordpress.com/2011/02/19/the-cambridge-porn-debate-story/">taken to task</a> for supporting her argument with shoddy stats from unreliable sources. The Lilith report of 2003 used inaccurate statistics to conclude that an increase in lap-dancing clubs in Camden led to an increase in rape. The report, <a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/47185652/Green-Paper-Camden-Lilith-rape-stats">challenged by Brooke Magnanti</a>, remains influential, presumably because to many people it sounds right. <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/feb/22/pornography-jacqui-smith">Read more »</a></blockquote>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-59535448875975629562011-02-23T23:09:00.004+00:002011-02-24T00:04:53.304+00:00His hand; my mouth<p align="justify">So last night I was sitting down to write my <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/02/ladypornday-porn-as-public-service.html">#ladypornday blogpost</a>, feeling kind of achy and creaky and grumpy about the idea of sitting at my desk when my back already hurt. I know, I thought, I'll have a drink, that'll ease the aches and help the words come forth. Except I was due a teetotal day. So I didn't have one, I went and bothered Tom instead.<br /><br />He's been poorly again this week (after that brief sunlit ray of health) - just a cold, but enough to frustrate us both all over again. But he was very sweet. We cuddled, and he asked if I wanted a backrub. I regretfully turned him down - I didn't really have time for a massage AND writing a blogpost before dinner, plus I'd feel guilty getting him to look after me when he's the one who's sick. But it occurred to me, sitting on his lap enjoying a cuddle, that I could perhaps ask for a spanking. <br /><br />So I did.<br /><br />We started with him sitting on the edge of the bed and me over one knee, but that made my tummy ache, so after a little bit I asked if I could go over both knees instead. He spanked me carefully, with restraint, not wanting to push too hard but knowing that if I was going to get the endorphins-as-painkillers I was after I would need to be pushed a bit. Even over my knickers, even at a fraction of the strength I know he's capable of, I couldn't take it. I owwed and winced and sucked in my breath and tried to be brave and knew full well I was being a total wimp. I hung on, waiting for my body to catch on and start to mellow out, but the switch didn't flip.<br /><br />Tom reads me well. He knew that it wasn't quite getting where I needed it to, so he put a pillow on the floor and got me to kneel on it, bending over the side of the bed. This was more comfortable - but it made my bare bottom all the more vulnerable, the skin seeming even more sensitive. For whole sequences of smacks I managed to be brave and not yelp, face screwed up and hands tightly squeezing the bedding, but it never got to the point of actually feeling good. He layered the smacks so cautiously and thoroughly, interspersing them with such tender rubs, that surely I must have been properly warmed up - but the harder smacks, when they came, just made me yell "OW!" in a tone of voice that was more annoyed than anything else.<br /><br />I was too stubborn to want him to stop, but I didn't know why this wasn't working for me. Was I too tired? He paused to rub my back again. I instantly relaxed into the bed, grateful noises muffled by the duvet. He stroked me and kissed the back of my neck. "This isn't really helping you much at all, is it, love?"<br /><br />"Mmmmmf." I didn't want him to stop stroking.<br /><br />He didn't stop; but his other hand did move within reach of my lips, so I kissed his fingers and his palm. He rubbed a particularly achy spot between my shoulders, and I leaned forward, mouth pressing against his hand. He kept it resting lightly over my mouth and I felt myself softening, mellowing. There was something intensely, tenderly vulnerable about it. It made me feel sort of little, but not really in the "little girl" sense, just suspended between those two strong, clever hands. My awareness focussed in on these points of contact; one hand on my back, one gently resting against my lips. I suddenly knew that if he were to start spanking me again now, it would be lovely, and I waited to see if he would; but he was still being careful. So in the spirit of enthusiastic consent, I murmured, "if you wanted to spank me again, that might be nice."<br /><br />He did. And it was suddenly perfect, everything I'd needed it to be. He spanked me hard, slow, fully, and I breathed deep and my body filled up with sensations. Everything slowed right down and the pain washed over me. His hand wasn't stopping my mouth, but the light touch of his fingerpads against my lips was deeply arousing. When the pain got intense I focused on that sensation, his hand over my mouth, and it was enough. He gave me big, powerful spanks and I gratefully kissed his fingers.<br /><br />Such a tiny thing; such a huge impact.<br /><br /><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/fingers-in-mouth.jpg" /><br /><br />Afterwards I knelt on the pillow between his knees and we clung to each other, all filled up with love. Then I took my laptop through to the lounge and sat my spanked bottom on the sofa, to write my blogpost in comfort.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-57270808657497828742011-02-22T23:47:00.007+00:002011-02-23T23:09:13.238+00:00#ladypornday: Porn as a public service<p align="justify"><img src="http://rabbitwrite.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/LPD4.jpg" style="width:300px; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" />Today is <a href="http://rabbitwrite.com/ladypornday/">Lady Porn Day</a>, a new initiative organised by sex blogger <a href="http://rabbitwrite.com/">Rabbit Write</a> to encourage and empower women to share and discuss porn. Rabbit describes the project to the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/22/lady-porn-day-chicago-sex_n_826533.html">Huffington post</a> as follows:<br /><blockquote>Lady Porn Day is essentially to celebrate porn and masturbation. I'm inviting everyone to talk about their porn experiences, share stories and to ultimately share their porn recommendations. This is about not only opening up a dialog about how porn is good, but also how porn is hard, how it can be an issue for women, in terms of dealing with guilt or body image or their sexuality.</blockquote><p align="justify">I haven't really participated in the <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/search?q=%23ladypornday">twitter conversation</a>, which is still going strong if you want to pitch in, but I'm thinking of using the excuse to write a few blogposts this week about what the concept of "porn for women" means to me (actually I'm quite liking the coinage 'ladyporn', I might start using that more regularly). The page on <a href="http://rabbitwrite.com/ladypornday/">Rabbit's site</a> seems to be acting as a hub for contributions, and her <a href="http://rabbitwrite.com/mini-porn-interview-jiz-lee/">interview with Jiz Lee</a> today (the most recent post as I type this) is well worth a read. Jiz talks about the positive social contribution ethical and queer porn can make and has made, emphasising its role in education (for example in normalising safer sex practices) and in personal affirmation and validation, reassuring people that their sexuality and orientation is normal and okay.<br /><br />This is obviously very close to my own relationship to porn. Looking at porn gave me the vocabulary and courage to think about - and come to accept - my own queerness and my own kink. Working in fetish and spanking porn has expanded the way I think about my kink, improved my relationship with kink and my body, helped me make more sense of what I like and how I like it, introduced me to more and more things that it turns out I like, improved my confidence, my physical fitness, my professional skills, my writing, my self-knowledge and self-belief. My relationships have benefited. My mental and physical health have benefited.<br /><br />My inbox is a testament to how valuable what I do is to other people. This is pretty amazing given that what I do is essentially self-indulgent. I like performing, I like recording experiences through creative media, and I like spanking, D/s and BDSM. I've been writing scene reports for as long as I've been playing. The urge to record, share and discuss my sexual and kink experiences is not a commercial one - it's an essential component of those experiences. The fact that I can get paid for performing my fantasies on camera, and the fact that men and women across the globe find those performances affirming, reassuring and empowering continues to baffle - and delight - me. It feels like the biggest stroke of luck in the world that doing <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/08/motivation-of-model.html">this thing I like doing</a> can bring pleasure and validation to other people. But after receiving countless emails from people who have been affected by watching me reflect their own fantasies, who have been helped to understand that those fantasies are normal, healthy, less unusual than they feared, I'm no longer in any doubt that porn can have enormous social and personal benefits, particularly to people with alternative sexualities.<br /><br />To my surprise, the Cambridge University Student Union <a href="http://www.cambridgefirst.co.uk/news/porn_has_it_at_cambridge_union_1_807040">recently agreed with me</a>. The House voted in favour of the motion that "pornography does a good public service" by 44 votes. Feminist pornographer and former Parliamentary candidate <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/03/anna-spans-pornography-may-not-be.html">Anna Span</a> led the team debating on behalf of the motion, and feminist anti-porn writer <a href="http://ourpornourselves.org/lady-porn-day-and-cambridge-porn-debate-results-ladypornday-proporn-antiporn/">Gail Dines</a> spoke in opposition. I can recommend Anna Span's write up of the debate for <a href="http://news.avn.com/articles/Historic-Win-for-the-Porn-Industry-at-Cambridge-Debate-426978.html">AVN News</a>. The BBC World Service invited Span and Dines to recreate the debate on air, and you can listen to a six minute excerpt from the show <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/news/2011/02/110218_pornography_debate.shtml">here</a>.<br /><br />Anna Span's initial answer to the question of how pornography does a good public service was that "it democratises the body" - otherwise known as the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034">Rule #34</a> Social Benefit (list that one under phrases I never thought I'd type). If you don't like an aspect of your body or sexuality, she says, Google it plus 'sex', and you'll discover sites which think this is the most attractive thing about you. Anna Span argues that porn is much more varied when it comes to body type, gender and types of beauty and sex appeal than mainstream advertising, films, TV, fashion photography and the other images we are surrounded with in public spaces. It is also broader in its representation of alternative sexualities. There is porn for everyone, if you care enough to put a little effort into finding it. <br /><br />Span cited the recent UK study <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21175532">Comparison by crime type of juvenile delinquents on pornography exposure</a>, which found no correlation between exposure to pornography and sexual violence. Both USA and UK governments have funded extensive studies into the social harm of porn, with no conclusive findings.<br /><br />Gail Dines responded that mainstream porn isn't varied, and is often violent, dehumanising and debasing to women. To which of course the answer is: support indie, queer, feminist and alternative porn! As Lynn Comella writes for <a href="http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/news/2011/feb/02/feminists-gone-wild-response-porn-critic-gail-dine/">Las Vegas Weekly</a>,<br /><blockquote>Dines takes a slice—the world of hard-core "gonzo" porn, which, according to her, is porn that “depicts hard-core, body-punishing sex in which women are demeaned and debased”—and presents it as emblematic of an entire industry. This is akin to talking about Hollywood while only referencing spaghetti Westerns; or making sweeping glosses about the music industry when what you are really talking about is hair metal. It’s an approach that makes for neither a sound argument nor good sociology.</blockquote><p align="justify">When Gail Dines says "porn" she means the stereotype of porn, the sort of thing you get in top shelf magazines or if you type "porn" into Google; big-busted, narrow waisted female bodies; big cocks; shaved genitals; simplistic storylines and limited dialogue; straightforward, vigorous penetration; cum shots; unconvincing expressions of pleasure.<br /><br />When Anna Span says "porn" she seems to mean what I mean - a broader spectrum of possibilities including all representations of human sexuality; incorporating indie, alternative, amateur, kinky and feminist porn. Mainstream porn might be easiest to find, and, statistically, the thing new viewers are likely to see because there's more of it and it's been the 'norm' for longer. But that doesn't mean it's sensible or useful to assume that all porn should be judged by the same standard, or to ignore the ever-increasing range of alternatives which are available.<br /><br />Instead of railing against the evils of sexually explicit imagery in general, anyone dissatisfied with mainstream porn is better off creating or supporting better, healthier alternatives; porn that's more ethical, interesting, humane, respectful and egalitarian. Which is exactly what Anna Span - and I, and the <a href="http://rabbitwrite.com/ladypornday/jilling-off-hall-of-fame/">long list of positive porn projects</a> endorsed by Lady Porn Day - are trying to do.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-46036996972602823672011-02-21T13:02:00.004+00:002011-02-23T00:29:00.114+00:00'Discomfort me with apples': a fantasy shared<p align="justify"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/apples.jpg" /><br />
<br />
I love the two most <a href="http://thelittleredschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2011/01/discomfort-me-with-apples.html">recent</a> <a href="http://thelittleredschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2011/02/discomfort-me-with-apples-part-two.html">posts</a> by Abby Williams, telling the story of an impromptu roleplay scene in which she's punished for scrumping apples.<br />
<br />
Escalation is a fairly common consequence of sharing a fantasy with a top. It's your fantasy, in which everything is arranged to your liking. <a href="http://apainfulawakening.blogspot.com/2011/01/write-me-story.html">Emma Jane</a> has recently written articulately about the difficulties involved in this, how much detail to go into, how faithful a reproduction it's reasonable to expect. As a bottom, it's not usually realistic (or fair!) to expect a top to become a cipher, to play their role exactly as you imagine it; and it's unfeasible and unsatisfying for the bottom to micro-manage a scene in advance. So offering a fantasy to a top is very much a gift - you're not asking them to reproduce your vision exactly, but opening it up to their personality and contribution. After all, most self-respecting tops prefer to inject a little surprise into a scenario, rather than merely reciting lines agreed in advance. <br />
<br />
In my experience, when I've asked one of my doms to do something I've fantasised about, one of two things happen. It's either a very fluffy, very consensual, very instantly gratifying scene where I get what I want and there isn't much of a D/s dynamic in action. Or they take the opportunity to turn the tables on me - change something, do something I didn't expect, go harder than I expected - anything to unsettle me a bit, to swing the balance of power their way. Ironically, if my fantasy is of an edgy, intense scene, this is pretty much the only way to give me what I've asked for. Reproducing my fantasy exactly as described may tick all the boxes, but it won't have the same psychological impact as a scene in which I'm given something real to overcome, some genuine fear or uncertainty.<br />
<br />
I know this, and yet I'm still not used to the way it makes me feel. When an asked-for scene makes me struggle, I'm swamped with feelings of inadequacy. I asked for this, I fantasised about it, why can't I take it? Even after the scene is over, I can dwell on that initial resistance, wondering if it means I'm a wimp, or not submissive enough. And yet, over time, I have come to realise that without initial difficulty, the scene would lack impact - would lack that psychological journey which gives it meaning.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://image.clips4sale.com/accounts001/18685/clip_images/4.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" />Abby's writing describes this experience perfectly. When her husband <a href="http://thelittleredschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2011/01/discomfort-me-with-apples.html">initially springs on her the apple-scrumping punishment fantasy she's told him about</a>, she doesn't react as positively as she expected.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>I bent over, fingertips to toes, shifting my body weight from side to side as if I really was an impatient young thief, ready to receive her spanking so she could be on her delinquent way. "Thirteen strokes, then," said Mr. Williams. "You will count."<br />
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"Yes, sir," I murmured, but at the first stroke of the belt, I found myself angry, irritated with the pain and the situation. I huffed, letting him know I was irritated with the punishment. "One, Sir," I sneered.</blockquote><br />
I find roleplay can liberate me to feel anger and irritation with a top in a way I wouldn't be comfortable with in most of my romantic D/s dynamics. But it's not just an in-character fabrication - it's a genuine reaction to the pain.<br />
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<blockquote>The fifth and sixth strokes were less shocking. I counted them properly and I didn't make a scene. Stroke seven would mark the halfway point. I had started to relax after the two strokes I could handle; I thought I had shown that I was willing to take the punishment and that he would be less forceful about the punishment, in kind. I was wrong. The seventh stroke crossed my thighs in a painful amalgamation of cruelty and curiosity. Mr. Williams knows that I detest any spanking upon my thighs, and I know he's always interested in my reaction. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I was being tested. Instead, I screamed. I don't know if I was speaking to Mr. Williams or myself when I followed the scream with, "What the fuck?" I just had not been expecting that level of pain in our apple farmer scenario.<br />
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The silence then was so strong that I began to twitch. "I'm sorry, Sir," I whispered. "That's seven."<br />
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"That's right," he said tersely. I was in for it.<br />
<br />
Strokes eight through twelve were hard, but my submission was no longer an act. I wasn't going to fight the belting any longer. </blockquote><br />
This passage really resonates with my experience. The hottest scenes are often the one in which the bottom can't "win" - in which we can't predict or manipulate how things will go. But it's not an easy ride, and I wouldn't want to do it with someone I didn't trust utterly.<br />
<br />
I love how effortlessly Abby blends fantasy and reality; how her innocent apple farmer scene turns unexpectedly nasty - and then unexpectedly sexual. My favourite bit is in the <a href="http://thelittleredschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2011/02/discomfort-me-with-apples-part-two.html">second part</a> of her write up, the perfectly captured moment where all the tension is broken:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>As wife, I know I'm wet, know I'm ready for Mr. W to take the scene where it always leads, but the swish of a cane through the air behind my poised backside lets me know the farmer is not ready to let the apple thief off so easily. I clutch a pillow just before the cane lands.<br />
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Thirteen strokes of the belt have not properly warmed my bottom and I lurch forwards into the pillow to stifle my howl of pain. A tap on my lower back reminds me to return to position, kneeling on my hands and knees properly with my back arched and bottom presented. I tensely shift back, not ready but not wanting to seem unwilling.<br />
<br />
The next stroke cuts full across the spot where bottom meets thigh, and though I begin to wimper, the thief, who can say the things I would not, says through clenched teeth, "That. Fucking. Hurt."<br />
<br />
"Maybe this will help with the pain," Mr. W says. He goes to the nightstand and I think he's going to pull out one of the smaller paddles, something to finish warming me before the remaining eleven cane strokes I know he still wants to give me. Trusting in my husband, I close my eyes.<br />
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He returns to his place behind me, stroking my bottom, then clutching the flesh beneath his palm, pulling me open so that I feel even more naked than I already am. His finger touches the orifice between my reddened cheeks, pressing just a little. I relax into the touch. He presses deeper, then pulls out. I think I am about to receive a gentle leather paddling, something sexy, something that will finally send the farmer and the thief from the room. Instead, he presses into me again, this time with something thicker, firmer. It's not flesh. I recognize the toy we bought just weeks ago specifically for this purpose, for this spot, and irrationally, indignantly, the apple thief rears back. "Sir! I hardly think I know you well enough for that!"<br />
<br />
Mr. W, clever farmer that he is, pushes me back down. "You've been on this farm before," he says.<br />
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I can't hold back. I snort, then giggle, then I'm all out laughing. He begins to laugh too, and the tenseness of the entire scenario is broken. I wiggle my bum at him. "You're right," I say, "I have been on this farm before. I remember now why I came back."</blockquote>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-27000192261366319962011-02-18T16:25:00.003+00:002011-02-18T16:35:43.782+00:00My edible Valentine<p align="justify">I like food a lot. It will therefore come as no surprise that my Valentine's celebrations this week have involved some truly excellent cookery. The remarkable thing is that I didn't do any of it myself. Normally I'm the feeder in my relationships - but this week I've been thoroughly spoiled with some delicious dinners.<br /><br />D, at the weekend, was the exception. He's not a big chef. But that was okay; after an all-nighter on the town, we'd digested too many stimulants to have much appetite for food in any case. Instead we took to bed for a luxurious, lazy Sunday - snuggles, sleep (well, I managed some, I'm not sure D did) followed by hours of slow, drowsy debauchery. He also gave me a card which entertained me no end:<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/adult-entertainment2.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/adult-entertainment2.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />Think of the possibilities! I can place it pointing at my work desk; pointing at my bed; pointing at friends I want to <s>annoy</s> amuse. First, though, of course, I had to arrange it pointing at D's butt. Which is, I have to confess, fairly edible.<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/adult-entertainment.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/adult-entertainment.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />On Monday I saw Penny, and I've <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/02/green-porno.html">already written</a> about what we got up to during the day - which was certainly adult and very entertaining, but not especially appetising. The evening, however, was a gastronomic triumph in five courses (although we never actually got as far as the cheese). Baked pumpkin risotto balls with parmesan; broccoli and stilton soup; pasta with mushrooms, garlic and pancetta in a cream and wine sauce; bread and butter pudding with homemade Seville marmalade. She knows the route to a lady's heart, alright - and she's pretty tasty herself.<br /><br />Then last night, Tom treated me to a belated Valentine's dinner at home. We'd had an extended scene planned which it turned out I was too tired for (to my disappointment - but we'll find another date), so I was prepared for a quiet evening. At the last minute he decided to spoil me rotten, and surprised me with an unexpected three course dinner. Tsatsiki, houmous and pitta dippers to start, then pan-fried marinated lamb steaks in garlic and rosemary, with roasted vegetables and cheesy cauliflower. Plus strawberries with vanilla cream for dessert. Oh, man.<br /><br />*brief interlude to eat leftover toasted pitta strips and red pepper houmous (nomnomNOM)*<br /><br />But the biggest and best surprise came later that night - after we'd repaired to the bedroom and I'd been lavished with affection, cuddles, and an over-the-knee spanking which didn't push my tired body too far. As if all that wasn't enough, he then presented me with the best. Valentine. EVER:<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />They're giant chocolate biscuits with icing and HANDPRINTS. Edible spanko valentines! OMG!<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine2.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine2.jpg" style="width: 300px;" /></a><br /><br />Would you be wooed by this man?<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine3.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine3.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />The first hand and spanked ass disappeared quite quickly. Luckily, there were two more sets in the bottom of the box :) <br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine4.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/edible-valentine4.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />(They're by a kinky friend of ours who's just setting up shop as a confectioner. Aren't they awesome? As a thank you to her I thought I'd let you know she was taking orders, in case there's anyone who fancies giving their own partner a delicious spanko gift. They're £10 for one hand/heart or £20 for three, including P&P. Let me know if you're interested and I'll pass it on!)Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-56007210041542532672011-02-15T14:20:00.000+00:002011-02-15T14:20:58.207+00:00Green Porno<p align="justify">Yesterday the lovely Penny and I celebrated Valentine's Day by going to the <a href="http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats-on/temporary-exhibitions/sexual-nature/index.html">Sexual Nature</a> exhibition at the Natural History Museum. It's good fun, and well worth the money, revealing lots of beautiful and gross details about the sexual habits of various animals, with a refreshing emphasis on the variety inherent in nature and the weird restrictiveness of human sexual morality. Did you know that homosexual orangutan sex is much more cuddly and affectionate than hetero encounters? Or that spinner dolphins mate in large orgies known as wuzzles? Bisexuality, homosexuality, transexuality, polyamory - the animal kingdom has it all.<br />
<br />
The highlight of the exhibition was a selection of Green Porno videos by Isabella Rossellini, a charming series of shorts in which she dresses up and demonstrates the bizarre mating habits of different creatures. Such as this delightful take on sadomasochistic snails:<br />
<br />
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<br />
You can view the whole series online at the <a href="http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno/">Sundance Channel's Green Porno page</a>. Look out for lesbian lizards, necromantic praying mantises, and the decombobulating vaginas of ducks...Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-76207578142462396282011-02-14T13:52:00.001+00:002011-02-14T13:59:43.575+00:00A long-awaited scene<p align="justify">I've noted before that positive sexual energy seems to flow through my polycule; when I have fun with one partner, it can precipitate unexpected good times with the others. <br /><br />It felt a bit like that last Wednesday. Even while D was still at mine, I was stealing occasional kisses and cuddles from Tom which held far more promise than I've been able to expect of him since his health worsened last November. On Wednesday evening, after D headed home, Tom caught me in an unexpected embrace. From the way he kissed me my hopes that he might be feeling a bit more like his usual self started to soar; and as I drew back enough to look into his eyes I discovered to my delight that his domly twinkle had returned.<br /><br />It's a tough balancing act, a relationship with chronic health problems. The person who isn't ill has the job of not putting any pressure on their partner to do more than they're capable of, and reassure them that it's totally okay and they should take whatever time they need - even though you desperately miss being physically close to them, would kind of like some physical reassurance, and want to show your partner that they're wanted. Likewise, the person who is ill has to be honest about their limitations, clearly express their boundaries and reassure themselves that they aren't a failure for being ill (probably while feeling humiliated, guilty or angry or a mix of all three), at the same time as reassuring their partner that the issue isn't lack of desire or interest. It's tough.<br /><br />We've been getting better at it, I think, although initially I was so keen to reassure Tom that I wanted him lots and lots and lots that I ended up making him feel even worse about not being able to give me what I wanted. Poly helps; having other partners I can turn to has enabled me to put less pressure on Tom, and having a nice time with another partner gives me an energy boost which I can then feed back into my relationship with him.<br /><br />Over the winter I got used to not expecting Tom to be well enough for the sort of play I knew we both wanted, and I was happy to put those desires to one side and simply enjoy his company and closeness until he told me otherwise. So when that twinkle reappeared in his eyes, I wasn't expecting it - and my surprise made it all the sweeter.<br /><br />It was the first time we'd played for weeks, so he was understandably cautious. I on the other hand was in high spirits, and being as cheeky and flirtatious as I thought I could get away with. The combination turned out to be remarkably successful.<br /><br />Over his knee, I peeked over my shoulder every chance I got, and encouraged him as he started out with gentle warm-up smacks. He set a leisurely pace and I had no desire to rush him; I just wanted to let him know it was all good with me. As he slowly stepped up the power I found my joy at being back in this beloved, familiar situation bubbling over. Every time he elicited an "oww" from me I couldn't help laughing. I loved the strength of his thighs bearing me up, loved the warmth and promising pressure between them, loved the rough smoothness of his big work-hardened hands. I didn't go wanting for rubs and caresses, and when he made me yelp with his trademark strong, full-bodied, fleshy smacks - and, next, with the hairbrush - rather than feeling fear I found myself giggling with delight.<br /><br />It was a joyful, positive vibe. I kept making eye contact with him and grinning. As I lay down over pillows in the middle of the bed I knew this was going to be an extended session, a making-up-for-lost-time sort of scene, and my heart was singing. <br /><br />I'd been slowly, methodically warmed up with hand and hairbrush, Tom taking care to colour my bottom evenly from thighs to dimples. So I was more than ready for his belt; felt not a jolt of terror as it increased in force; watched the shadow of his arm lifting on the wall in front of me with lip-biting anticipation. The razor strop was next, broader and heavier but old, old leather, and I lifted my arse and groaned gratefully at each impact. He used the wooden ruler almost full force and I sighed into the pillows. I was eating up everything he could give me. My masochism light had been turned up as bright as it goes, and I couldn't get enough. <br /><br />At some point - just after the strop, I think - I flashed a smile at him and asked if he was taking requests. Why, what did I have in mind? I mentioned that all the canes in our collection were in my room, apart from one, which was in his. I was referring to the Master cane, the 12mm dragon I bought him for his 30th birthday. He made no promises, and when the ruler came out I complained, laughing. Next, though, he picked up one of our favourite medium-strength canes, and I knew he'd get to where I wanted, in his own sweet time.<br /><br />Two canings. I think he made me count the first one, but did the honours himself for the second, harder one. I have the number 24 in my head but I can't remember if that was one or both. I just remember my hunger, my voracious appetite for impact.<br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/play-with-Tom1.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/play-with-Tom1.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br />I wish I could predict what will put me in that mood. The warm up helped, as did the long build-up since our last play session, but neither of those factors can be relied on; just as love, submission and desire alone aren't always enough. I do think that poly can play a part - I was feeling loved and rejuvenated from a happy two days in D's company, which meant I didn't need comforting or looking after by Tom, I was coming to him from a place of strength and happiness.<br /><br />The warm up had another effect, which was purely physical. After a long session of hard impact play I woke up the next morning without a mark on me. (Despite the fact I have a kink for being marked, I was glad - I've just spent the weekend with D and am seeing Penny tonight and tomorrow, and it seems politer not to be pre-battered when I visit them.) Tom warmed me up so thoroughly that I barely even welted at the time, even though the final caning alone would have left me seriously bruised had it been given cold. The weirdness of this fact continues to fascinate me. Aren't bodies wonderful? <br /><br /><a href="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/play-with-Tom2.jpg"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/play-with-Tom2.jpg" style="width: 400px;" /></a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-36519933037717491762011-02-10T23:50:00.001+00:002011-02-10T23:52:14.012+00:00Getting Medieval on her Ass<p align="justify"><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking</a> have a new video online, featuring two of my favourite spanking models - Amelia Jane Rutherford and Zoe Montana - appearing together in the same film for, I think, the first time. It also stars Paul Kennedy, Stephen Lewis (flagellant monk par excellence!), and Zoe's husband Nick. I really like watching real couples interact on film. Plus a historical context with flowing medieval costumes. What's not to like?<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI-medieval1.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI-medieval2.jpg" /></a><br /><br />The scene represents a public fantasy; a sort of punishment free-for-all. Zoe is displayed in the 'town square' and a herald announces that all whom this wench has wronged should come forward and deal with her as they see fit. Hot. The scenario is immediately made more edgy by the presence of Amelia's character, the virtuous lady spectator whose role in events is unclear. Her glee pointedly contrasts with Zoe's suffering, and her prurient smirks and faux innocence ("'Tis my sad duty to bare her wicked flesh!") made me grin from the offset.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI-medieval3.jpg" /></a><br /><br />When it comes down to it, this film is NSI ham at its best. Amelia-Jane strikes saintly poses in the corners. Everyone looks fabulous in their costumes (and we get a rare glimpse of Paul without his glasses!). The actors deliver snort-inducing lines with exuberantly serious dramatic flair. (At one point Amelia's shrieks of outrage max out the treble on my speakers, but her facial expressions throughout are so entertaining that I didn't mind one jot). And as a straightforward public humiliation/victim fantasy, it's extremely appealing.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI-medieval4.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Catch the full video and photostory at <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking</a>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-87404378920428253182011-02-09T02:21:00.004+00:002011-02-09T17:51:58.791+00:00The evolution of punishment; or, how I came to like it<p align="justify"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/waiting.jpg" style="width: 300px; float:left;margin:0 10px 10px 0;" />If I were to tell you that historically, punishment has not been something I've enjoyed, I'd appear to be stating the obvious. Of course no-one enjoys punishment, that's sort of the point. But even within the familiar paradox of kink, <i>punishment</i> has not been a framework that I've tended to find fun to play with. Hot, undeniably; but in the context of a real dominance and submission agreement, coupled with a hopelessly strong desire to please those I love, earning a punishment has never been a fun way to initiate play for me. It's been rare, and when it's happened it's been about genuine upsets or disappointment, it's been tearful and it's not been pleasant for either of us.<br />
<br />
Of course that mode of punishment also has value: catharsis; the putting to bed of heartfelt remorse, relief from guilt; the raw intimacy that comes from undergoing such an ordeal together for the sake of maintaining good faith. The self-respect that can be earned by bravely facing the unpleasant but necessary consequences of regretted actions.<br />
<br />
Until now it's only ever arisen in two contexts; the breaking of pre-negotiated agreements, or the resolution of relationship conflicts where I came to see myself as being in the wrong, and craved some sort of absolution before I could forgive myself and move on. Neither an experience I'm inclined to seek out. <br />
<br />
Recently, this sort of "serious" punishment hasn't been a feature of either of my primary relationships. Tom's health problems are well chronicled, as is D's reticence about adopting the more ceremonial aspects of D/s.<br />
<br />
So the <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/01/temperance.html">deal</a> I've made with D this year has been an interesting experiment. My <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/01/punishment-humiliation-and-bondage.html">first punishment</a> under our new agreement took place in a highly sexually charged context, and wasn't, to my surprise, the edgiest aspect of our play that day. Since then, at my instigation, we've expanded our agreement so that he's helping me keep track of more than just my drinking levels. I'm currently trying to improve my health and fitness more generally, and regular exercise is part of that, as well as the exercises I've been given by my physiotherapist to address my particular back problems. So as well as booze, I'm now reporting in on two additional counts: if I do my back exercises every day, and if I visit the gym three times a week.<br />
<br />
Of course, as soon as he agreed to help me keep track of these extra factors, I immediately came down with a filthy cold, so I had a temporary reprieve until I was better. I was still not at all well the last time I visited D, which led to the punishment for the two missed days of back exercises before I got ill being postponed. Then once I recovered, I was working all hours of the day trying to make up for lost time on various client projects, I'd got out of the habit, and finding half an hour a day to do back exercises was not top of my priority list.<br />
<br />
When we came to deal with things yesterday, then, I had quite a lot accumulated. One missed daily report. Six missed days of back exercises. To my relief, it turned out that I'd been doing really well with drinking moderately (thanks in part to the cold!) and I hadn't missed any gym sessions - but still. He'd already told me it would be six whacks with the bath brush for every missed day of exercises. Plus twelve for the missed report, adding up to a colossal 48.<br />
<br />
So you'd think that I'd be a mess of nerves, leading up to it. But to my surprise, when he mentioned that he was packing the brush, when I saw it waiting for me on the pillow in the morning, when he came up behind me at my desk and softly kissed the back of my neck to give me my 15 minute warning, I didn't feel anxious, or upset. My primary emotion was one of reassurance, of security.<br />
<br />
I felt loved, knowing that he cared enough to put energy into keeping his side of the bargain, even though it's not his normal style. My fear of the brush translated into a thrill of arousal. I knew I wasn't going to get shouted at. I knew I wasn't going to have personally disappointed him. The goalposts were set by me, and the only person I was letting down was myself. And I - well, I was doing my best, and working out this deal with D and accepting my punishment was part of that endeavour. There was no point feeling guilty about it. Half an hour of exercises every day is a tough habit to get into straightaway. I knew I wasn't going to manage it straight off. I'd done worse than I hoped, but there weren't going to be any recriminations or hard feelings. Just a quick punishment to deal with past 'failures', and the chance to do better next time. It felt honest, and straightforward, and strangely liberating.<br />
<br />
When I reached a stopping point in my work, I joined him on the bed. He let me look at the spreadsheet and we discussed how I'd done. He was impressed with me for going to the gym while I was still ill; and my drinking had been lighter than my stated aims. But the back exercises were a problem. We talked about ways to help me get into the habit. Setting a time each day, and an alarm on my phone. It feels strange to stop working when I'm being productive, but I should justify it by thinking of the break itself as a health benefit; the consequences of doing computer work all day will be lessened if I get up and move around regularly. They only take half an hour, less time than the washing up, less time than a bath, less time than it takes to tidy my room or go to the shop. <br />
<br />
After a little while I realised I was using the talk to put off the inevitable. Our eyes met. He stood up and held out his hands, and I joined him. A kiss, and then his eyes scanned me, and with a quirk of his lips he said quietly "Take off all your clothes, I think."<br />
<br />
"Everything?"<br />
<br />
"Yes."<br />
<br />
I did. Then I lay down, as instructed, over pillows on the bed, and he told me that I'd be counting these in sets; not each stroke, but each misdeed, starting with the missed report.<br />
<br />
I felt so safe in his hands, so reassured by his gentle manner, that I forgot how much that damn brush hurts. It doesn't seem to have much weight to it but every stroke is a targeted, stinging punch and I am incapable of thinking while it's going on. It just <i>gets</i> to me, pure and simple. The pain is startling, shocking; even when I know it's coming it takes me aback.<br />
<br />
Tom was in the next room, so I tried to be quiet. I hissed, I took deep breaths, I yelled silently into the pillows, I grabbed fistfuls of duvet, and when one set of six landed hard and fast I couldn't do anything except twist and howl and involuntarily clench both buttocks and try to flinch away. In between he stroked my back with a tender hand, and I gasped and thanked him and gritted my teeth for the next.<br />
<br />
Then it was over; and as I cuddled up to him I realised that I hadn't cried, hadn't had the catharsis experience I usually associate with punishment. This was less distressing and less complex than that. On one level it was wholeheartedly, straightforwardly consensual. This whole thing was my idea. D wasn't being domineering, making me do things I didn't want to do; he was my team-mate, my equal partner, working with me to help me achieve my aims. On another, my crime was not emotionally distressing; a minor blip in my striving for self-improvement, but I hadn't hurt anyone and had no reason to be overwhelmed by remorse or regret. This punishment was a tool in my arsenal; it was part of the plan. It wasn't anything to feel bad about. And I didn't feel bad. I felt relieved, satisfied, loved, reassured, safe.<br />
<br />
And - oh, my treacherous cunt - actually really turned on.<br />
<br />
It turned out I wasn't the only one. Of course, snuggling up to him, naked and trying to rub the persistent itchy sting out of my bottom, it was easy to get distracted. More kisses didn't help. When my hand brushed against the hot bulge in his jeans I asked "Is that from kissing me or spanking my bottom?"<br />
<br />
He smiled. "Yes."<br />
<br />
His hand, exploring in due course, discovered what I'd suspected - that all my protestations of being a good girl who hates being punished were belied my by body's reactions. I was slippery wet. "My cunt and I disagree on the question of the bath brush. <i>It</i> thinks it's hot."<br />
<br />
"Your cunt," said D, around promising kisses, "thinks anything you're afraid of is hot."<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
He told me to put on black and white stripy stockings, and spanked me again just because he could, making me kneel with my arse stuck right out so there was no padding to bounce under his palm, just taut skin. He smacked the backs of my thighs, too, and at various points my breasts. Our enthusiasm was mutual, and our lovemaking an excruciatingly pleasurable mix of tenderness and violence. <br />
<br />
I can't help feeling that there's something wrong with this positive feedback loop; that if we have so much fun every time I'm punished, won't it be self-defeating? I do genuinely want it to help me improve. But those objections are theoretical. Deep down, I'm not conflicted at all; my satisfaction is too self-evident to argue with. Yes, I'll try to earn less punishment next time. If I get some, I'll take it and it'll bring us closer together. If I don't, he'll probably find an excuse to beat me anyway. Or perhaps I'll just keep raising my goals to stay slightly ahead of my progress, so I'll always fall slightly short of them - all in the name of self improvement, of course. It's all good.<br />
<br />
(I'll leave you with one final image: me, just after D had put his jeans back on and returned to his work, doing my back exercises on the floor in knickers and a t-shirt, bottom still glowing from my recent spanking and the carpet feeling very rough where I was tender. The whole thing probably helped me loosen up, but if I'm going to used that method regularly I'm going to need to get a yoga mat.)Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-43179886379333923632011-02-06T20:35:00.002+00:002011-02-07T10:09:05.974+00:00The neurological connection between pain and pleasure<p align="justify"><img src="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/brain-orgasm-nerve.jpg"><br /><br /><a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/brain-during-orgasm.htm">What happens in the brain during orgasm?</a> I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to know. It turns out to be pretty cool. Did you know that the clitoris alone has more than 8,000 nerve-endings? Or that women with a severed spinal cord can still enjoy vaginal orgasms?<br /><br /><blockquote>Interestingly, they discovered that there aren't too many differences between <a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/men-women-different-brains.htm">men's and women's brains</a> when it comes to sex. In both, the brain region behind the left eye, called the <b>lateral orbitofrontal cortex</b>, shuts down during orgasm. Janniko R. Georgiadis, one of the researchers, said, "It's the seat of reason and behavioral control. But when you have an orgasm, you lose control" [source: <a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/brain-during-orgasm4.htm#latimes">LA Times</a>]. Dr. Gert Holstege stated that the brain during an orgasm looks much like the brain of a person taking heroin. He stated that "95 percent is the same" [source: <a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/sexuality/brain-during-orgasm4.htm#sciencenews">Science News</a>].</blockquote><br />This research doesn't seem to have included any non-cisgendered participants. Other studies show that <a href="http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/01/26/scans-show-difference-in-transgender-brains/">the brains of transgendered people have more in common with their chosen gender than the gender they were born as</a>, but it's unclear what extent the differences in the nervous system would have on orgasm at a neurological level.<br /><br /><blockquote>There are some differences, however. When a woman has sex, a part of the brain stem called the <b>periaqueductal gray (PAG)</b> is activated. The PAG controls the "flight or fight" response. Women's brains also showed decreased activity in the amygdala and hippocampus, which deal with fear and anxiety. The team theorized that these differences existed because women have more of a need to feel safe and relaxed in order to enjoy sex. </blockquote><br />I'm obviously cagey about the team's reading of the decreased activity in the amygdala and hippocampus. I'm not a neuroscientist, but I've <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2011/01/erotic-asphyxiation.html">written before</a> about the problems inherent in the assumption that women need to feel "safe" to enjoy sex. Most people need to feel reasonably safe to enjoy sex, in the sense of trusting that your partner will respect your boundaries - and it doesn't match my experience at all that women are any more likely to enjoy risky play within those boundaries than men. I don't know enough about the amygdala or hippocampus to make a sensible theory myself, but it seems possible that the causation there is the other way round - i.e. the pleasure of orgasm temporarily decreases fear and anxiety, rather than vice versa? <br /><br />The most interesting part for me, of course, was this:<br /><br /><blockquote>In addition, the area of the cortex associated with pain was activated in women, which shows that there is a distinct connection between pain and pleasure.</blockquote><br />It won't come as a surprise to any spanko that there's a connection between pain and pleasure in the brain. What's interesting is that the research picked up this difference on gender lines. Since not all women are into spanking or pain play, and of those that are, not all of them are into receiving it, this is a curious finding indeed. I'd be fascinated to see some research which compares the level of activation in this part of the brain during orgasm between men and women who identify as kinky or non-kinky, dominant or submissive, sadistic or masochistic. It would surprise me to discover that masochistic women had more in common with non-masochistic women than with masochistic men. If the neurological connection between pain and pleasure is not universal among humans, I'd expect the differences to along lines of preference rather than gender. But I suspect we won't see much of this sort of in-depth research conducted in a gender-neutral and kink-positive way quite yet.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-52283494465941703772011-02-04T01:13:00.000+00:002011-02-04T01:13:44.391+00:00BDSM, bondage and six pairs of pants<p align="justify">To my delight, more and more spanking models are launching their own sites. This isn't a new phenomenon - some of the oldest and best sites around are performer-led - but it's pleasing to see the numbers increase. After all, what better way to ensure that the porn you're watching is ethical than to know it's independent and homegrown, with no directors or decision-makers other than the primary spankee? When, like me, you prefer to watch scenarios with a non-consensual edge, that security becomes all the more important.<br />
<br />
My own baby will be some time in coming, but US model Sarah Gregory has recently launched her own site, <a href="http://sarahgregoryspanking.com/">Sarah Gregory Spanking</a>, which I've been watching with great interest, and which seems to be reaching a consistently high standard with a strong sense of authenticity and fun. And to my great pleasure, other UK models are getting in on the action - such as the geeky, poly, switchy <a href="http://www.nimuesworld.com/blogs/">Nimue</a>, whose forthcoming site will be live at NimuesWorld.com sometime in the next few months.<br />
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Like mine, Nimue's kinks bridge the boundaries of BDSM and spanking, and her site will reflect her broad range of interests from traditional CP to bondage, D/s and hot queer action. When she had a model cancellation last week I jumped at the chance to help out a fellow lady entrepreneur, and get a sneaky preview into what her project was about while I was at it.<br />
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In the intervening week I managed to come down with a hell of a cold, and even after three days of reluctant bedrest I still wasn't quite 100% come Monday. The situation wasn't improved by a night of bizarrely persistent insomnia, despite the help of Night Nurse and D's very comfy bed. Still, I made it onto the early train, and in the event my croaky voice was more of a hindrance than the sleep deprivation. Nimue was very understanding about the lack of voice (huskiness is less forgivable in schoolgirls than vanilla adult porn!) and I kept tiredness at bay with performance adrenaline, and a constant stream of cups of tea.<br />
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The first clip went through several changes of plan. Originally it was meant to be a piano lesson with some hand caning - until we found out that the piano space in the studio was more industrial decay than schoolroom. Nimue suggested a student sneaking into an old junkroom or attic to play without permission, but that lovely idea was scuppered by the loud building works taking place overhead. So we moved into the classroom setup - but now I needed something to be punished for.<br />
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I floated an idea based an email I'd received, a true school story of the day my correspondent wore two pairs of pants to detention, fearing that they'd get whacked. They weren't - but oh, what if they had! We decided to take it to extremes: I put on as many pairs of knickers as I physically could.<br />
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The trickiest bit was getting it to look reasonably inconspicuous from the outside. If I'd had advance warning I'd have packed some gym knickers to go on top, but I had to make do with layering a pair of black shorts with a pair of black briefs; one covering the hems underneath at the top, one at the bottom. Below them I had three pairs of patterned knickers and one pair of white shorts. A knicker fetishist's bonanza! They felt slightly odd to sit on, delightfully silly and ever so naughty. I had to struggle to keep a straight face as I sat in detention, writing out lines.<br />
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<img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Layered-1.jpg" style="width: 500px;" /><br />
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As I bend over for the inevitable tawse, the teacher's suspicions are raised by the unusual sound it makes - and the fact I'm taking the strokes far better than he expected. My cunning ruse is rumbled! So, of course, I'm taken over the knee and spanked over each pair of knickers in turn, the spanking becoming increasingly effective until it reaches bare flesh.<br />
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<img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Layered-2.jpg" style="width: 500px;" /><br />
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Not only that, but I'm awarded a stroke of the cane for every pair until I've learned that 'cheats don't prosper'. <br />
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I actually ended up getting about 12 strokes so we could get the different camera angles we needed. Not that I minded. I don't usually need much persuasion to take the cane.<br />
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The next scene was Nimue's chance to get in front of the camera and be a prize bitch. We were two fashion models, conveniently allowing cameraman to play photographer and our real photographer to take stills while we were filming, with flashes for once in character.<br />
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Jealous of being put in flat shoes while her taller co-model towers over her in heels, Nimue gets her revenge - and gives the photographer some shots he wasn't quite expecting.<br />
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<img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Model-Behaviour-2.jpg" style="width: 500px;" /><br />
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Finally, we did something new for me, although not so much for Nimue. Although BDSM activities are a regular part of my private sex play, they aren't something I do much on camera - and until now, only if I was shooting with one of my partners. When I found out that Nimue was after some BDSM content, I realised that my habitual reticence is mostly my reluctance to do this sort of thing with male tops - I hadn't had the opportunity to film a BDSM scene with a woman before.<br />
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We discussed my limits: no intimate touching below the waist, but breast play is fine; pinwheels and electricity aren't hot for me; bondage clamps, gags, blindfolds, kissing, throat/breath play and whipping all good. I was also up for some hot wax, but the candles didn't get packed. Next time!<br />
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We set up a simple little D/s scene on the four poster bed. No acting, no complicated plot, just two people connecting. I wore wrist and ankle cuffs, and crawled in at my lady's summons. She put me in a chest harness and tied me spreadeagled on the bed. The position was superficially comfortable, but I quickly realised what a strain it put on my thighs, and by the end they were shaking. I was teased, tormented, and thoroughly toyed with. Nimue experimented on me playfully, carefully, always measuring my reactions, her eye contact warm and constant. I quickly developed a healthy respect for her sadism, but it still felt natural to grin and make the occasional pert remark. <br />
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It was the first time I'd explored a new D/s connection with someone on camera, and it was fascinating. It was clearly bounded by professional limits, and didn't contain the depth or passion of my romantic partnerships - but the energy and trust we exchanged was real, and I felt very comfortable and safe in Nimue's hands. <br />
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And, I'll admit, it was hot. She whipped my vulnerable chest and belly with a tiny, sharp-thonged flogger; made me jump and squirm with cruel smacks on the front of my stockinged thighs; attached clamps to my nipples and hung weights off the chain; slapped my breasts a lot and caned them with a thin switch. Yeah, it was hot. <br />
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<img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/Pandora-bdsm-2.jpg" style="width: 500px;" /><br />
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As I headed home, hindered by tiredness, it took me some time to get my head around the newness of the experience, the things it was and the things it was not. I felt unusually chaste that evening, despite the company of the lovely Penny; played out for the day, perhaps, or just physically exhausted. But that was just an adjustment process; I have no regrets whatsoever. What a lovely treat to enjoy such pleasures as part of one's job. I definitely wouldn't object to doing it again, if the circumstances are right.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-66257412822881020372011-01-26T20:47:00.000+00:002011-01-26T20:47:13.769+00:00The disciplined dancer<p align="justify">I love this <a href="http://www.spankolife.com/albums/view/587">promo gallery</a> shared on Spankolife by David Pierson. Starring dancer Angelica and top Veronica Bound, it features beautiful use of natural light and some simple, striking compositions.<br />
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<img src="http://www.spankolife.com/public/user/1000000/2000/1487/18422.jpg" style="height: 360px;" /><br />
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<img src="http://www.spankolife.com/public/user/1000000/2000/1487/18428.jpg" style="width: 360px;" /><br />
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I love the use of the high-legged chair to adjust for tall spankee and average-height spanker.<br />
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<img src="http://www.spankolife.com/public/user/1000000/2000/1487/18432.jpg" style="width: 360px;" /><br />
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<img src="http://www.spankolife.com/public/user/1000000/2000/1487/18436.jpg" style="height: 360px;" /><br />
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Beautiful kneeling bench, too - although having experienced a similar kneeling punishment recently, I know how hard that position is.<br />
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You can view the full photoset and video on <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=931776-0000&PA=2201960">Punished Brats</a>.Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33271872.post-87912326507620327632011-01-25T02:19:00.003+00:002011-01-26T20:36:24.943+00:00Plans are afoot (although not - yet - legwarmers)<p align="justify">This morning, as I emailed D my daily report on the previous day's drinking (one pint of berry cider, for the curious) I asked him a question which came up while I was swimming yesterday. How about if I listed my exercise along with the booze? No pressure to add it to the D/s deal, but I'm picking up my fitness schedule at the moment and I want to keep track. Since I was sending these emails anyway, it seemed easiest to roll it in, if he didn't mind?<br /><br /><i>Happy to keep notes</i>, he replied, <i>also happy to discuss how you might be held accountable for keeping at it.</i> Thrills.<br /><br />This evening, I got online to an email entitled 'Instructions'. I'm to bring a school uniform with me this weekend. Not the sexy brat kind, the authentic kind. White knickers. Flat shoes.<br /><br />Things progress apace.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI095-ZS029.jpg" style="width: 400px; float: right; margin: 10px 0 10px 10px;" /></a>It's astonishing how well long-distance (well, relatively; different towns, but only 2 hours away) has suited us these last few months. Seeing each other is a treat; in between we miss each other like crazy. It's not just the distance; our communication is the best it's ever been, we're confident with each other, and every good experience swells the positive feedback loop. But the distance, the missing, wanting what we can't have, sending each other horny text messages when we're not seeing each other for days - it gives it that urgency, that edge.<br /><br />In chat this evening, he enquired whether asking for spanking would ruin the experience for me. I was surprised by the question - surely I've <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2009/04/demanding-attention.html">blogged</a> <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2009/04/asking-for-it.html">enough</a> about <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2009/07/subtle-approach.html">asking for</a> a <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/06/breaking-seal.html">spanking</a> <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/10/asking-for-cane.html">over the years</a>? - but thinking about it, I realised I've done that with Tom far more than with D. Partly because D's topping style is so spontaneous; partly because our communication about sex has only recently become so fluent, and in past years I was more insecure and afraid of rejection, and less articulate about my wants. Partly because D has, historically, been more into mindfucks than beating me - has treated my penchant for CP with a wry amusement - and I didn't want to impose my kink on him too much.<br /><br />But the positive feedback loop seems to have done its stuff. D's confidence has grown with experience - specifically, his confidence that I really do enjoy it - and that knowledge seems to have fed his sadism in a direct way. He's more interested in spanking me, and, apparently, he's also interested in being asked explicitly when I want it. He's always encouraged me to talk filthy. He likes it, especially if I feel shy and end up squirming.<br /><br />In answer to his question I said that spanking works for me with a myriad different headspaces. Wanting to please, but finding this implement difficult. Sexy, enthusiastic, loving it. Immersed in subspace, flying high. Playful and laughing, mock-hating it. Roleplay scenes. Punishments. Edgy and emotionally difficult scenes in which I'm pushed.<br /><br />I enjoy all of these, but only some of them are compatible with asking for a spanking. If I've asked, the consent is made explicit - it's difficult to play with non-consent after that point. So yes, asking for a spanking is great if I want a playful, sensual scene - but for the D/s to get intense the control has to be out of my hands. The only way an asked-for spanking could become edgy is if the top turns the tables on me and gives me more than I expected, an implement I didn't ask for; starts to make me regret having asked in the first place. Which ... would be hot.<br /><br />"Even if I want and ask for a spanking," I said, "there are some types of pain that are just going to push me. Like anal sex." <br /><br />D grinned.<br /><br />As I've <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/2010/11/kinky-merit-badge-i-spanking.html">mentioned before</a>, anal play has been off-limits for a while for health reasons. Nothing serious - just fragile skin that tore (frustratingly, not during any sexy escapades) but has taken over a year to heal up. Much patient nursing has paid off and lately, it's felt it might be possible again.<br /><br />D has been teasing me with the idea accordingly, as any self-respecting sadist would. Somehow, I guessed that this whole schoolgirl plan might have something to do with my recently healed, pseudo-inexperienced arse. The image made me shiver with arousal and fear.<br /><br />He confirmed my impressions as soon as the topic came up. "I tell you this now," he said smugly, "so you can agonise about it for the rest of the week."<br /><br />"Waaay ahead of you."<br /><br />"I hope my housemates are out. I'd like to hear you screaming for me."<br /><br />I visualised myself, white knee socks, innocently flat heeled shoes, white school blouse. White knickers puddled around my ankles. Being spanked, the fantasy remained demure. But this ... I would be frightened, struggling, sweaty. School tie around my wrists, perhaps? Knickers stuffed in my mouth?<br /><br />"Pity I don't have a Japanese school uniform," I quipped, disguising my flutters of erotic fear with flippancy. "I'm going to feel like a manga character."<br /><br />By mutual unspoken agreement, within a minute we were both browsing Ebay.<br /><br /><img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/07/!B5%29vvVQEGk~$%28KGrHqQOKjgEyPCBQWGYBMu55TLmcg~~0_12.JPG"><br /><br />I've also developed a sudden desire to own legwarmers, one pair black, one white:<br /><br /><img src="http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k66/minkyming/minkyhatcopyright.jpg" style="height: 400px;" /> <img src="http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k66/minkyming/f8_1_b1.jpg" /><br /><br />Neither could arrive by this weekend, but the English schoolgirl has her own appeal. And it's nice to have more than one thing to look forward to.<br /><br />--<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI095-ZS036.jpg" style="width: 200px; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>So I asked D if he wanted me to play a schoolgirl, or a grownup woman wearing a school uniform. He considered the question happily for a moment before replying that a schoolgirl would be fun. Now, our previous attempts at non-consent roleplay have been very sexual, and my ability to pretend to be suffering goes out the window once penetration is concerned. But since then I've had <a href="http://pandorablake.blogspot.com/search/label/finishing%20school">more practice at roleplaying</a>, and the idea of being a very scared, very helpless, very punished schoolgirl who doesn't know what's happening to her and feels horribly dirty and violated is a fantasy that appeals. I sent D a link to <a href="http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/punished-and-then/#comments">Mr Defeu's extremely hot "punishment plus" story</a> when it was posted, and he apparently found it as hot as I did.<br /><br />I also like the idea of being an <a href="http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/do-you-make-exceptions-sir-mf-explicit-schoolgirl-caning/">older schoolgirl, daring to ask for what she wants</a>. But roleplay is where it's easiest to play with non-consent, and the little girl image appeals right now, especially in the context of the violation fantasy.<br /><br />The only question remaining was, who would D be? With his long hair, tattoos and cat eyes he's not the classic authority figure. My wicked uncle? My perverted biker uncle, the black sheep of the family. Not uncle. Guardian, perhaps. I'd definitely find roleplay easier if I wasn't the only one in character; and the rougher and meaner he was, the easier I'd find it to take the pain.<br /><br />To my surprised delight, and despite some understandable self-consciousness, he's game to try playing a role. I don't know what sort of shape it might be, but it wouldn't be D without some spontaneity. I'm looking forward to being surprised.<br /><br /><a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0"><img src="http://pandoras-bot.com/images/blog/NSI095-ZS014.jpg" style="width: 600px; clear: both;" /></a><br /><br /><small>Pictures of <a href="http://www.zilledefeu.com/spank/do-you-make-exceptions-sir-mf-explicit-schoolgirl-caning/">Zille Defeu</a> provided by the incomparable <a href="http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=924118-0000&PA=1798521&BAN=0">Northern Spanking</a>. Thankyou for providing such hot fantasy fodder!</small>Pandora Blakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14379384317906645783noreply@blogger.com5