Hiatus

Hey people.

I'm very sorry I've been away so long without explanation. I really am. I should at least have posted announcing an official hiatus before now. I know that some of you have been genuinely worried by my absence, and I feel very touched by your concern - it was irresponsible to leave you hanging so long. Thanks for caring, and for checking back here. It means a lot.

Here's a brief summary of what's happened in my life since June:

Tom (that's Mr. C, my dom and long-term partner), and I took some time apart after various difficulties made our relationship unsustainable. It was intended to be a temporary break while we both sorted out heads out and made some changes, and we hoped to renegotiate whether we could restart our relationship come November.

Although Tom and I had split up, I was very lucky to have the continued love and support of my other partner, D. I leaned on D a lot during this difficult time, and our D/s relationship strengthened a great deal. However, the CP kink has always been Tom's thing more than D's (D is very kinky, but his focus tends to be a lot more on headgames than pure CP), and while I was missing Tom so much, I backed off from the spanking scene pretty much entirely. I haven't done any modelling shoots since June, and I've barely kept touch with my friends on the scene, let alone updated my blog and website. What play D. and I did enjoy during this period, I wanted to keep private. After the collapse of my D/s relationship with Tom I wasn't emotionally ready to present a public face as a submissive or a spankee.

After taking the time we needed, Tom and I are now seeing each other again on a tentative basis, although we're not officially back together. My relationship with Tom has always been fiery; he was my first Dom when I was only 19, and since then we've split up and got back together more than once. We still have some problems to work out, but we feel very strongly that we do belong together, and we're dedicated to sorting through each difficulty as it comes. We each have a temper - the classic artistic temperament - but I have faith that our compatability and our love for each other will see us through ... even if we're still squabbling when we're old and wrinkly :) Our intention is to gradually develop a D/s relationship again, alongside my continued submission to my ever-loving D. This will, however, take time. I'm not sure how much of that journey I'll be able to write about here - I intend to ask both of them before making anything public.

I'm not ready to start modelling again yet - while Tom and I are still rediscovering each other I have a strong urge to keep my kink private. Plus I'm out of practice - D. has never particularly favoured the heavy CP play that Tom and I enjoy; his preference is more for psychological and humiliation games than extended punishment scenes. My bottom is more sensitive now than it was a few months ago, and I don't want these new experiences to be constrained by having to stay unmarked for shoots. Once things are more settled, I hope to start modelling again at some point in the new year.

While things are still so tentative, I can't promise that I'll start writing here again regularly. I recently moved house, I'm very busy with a new job, and I'm travelling quite a lot over the next couple of months. But I do miss posting here, and I will try to drop in occasionally when I have something to say. However, I'm not ready to commit to a regular posting schedule yet.

So, that was my summer. How was yours?