Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sugasm #116

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #117? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
In Case Of Fire
“His hand slid around the back of my neck and pulled me close - easily, no effort at all, letting me feel the power of his arms and the warm puff of his breath against my ear.”

It was a long night…
“I gasped as he slowly pushed in one finger, slippery with oil, and began to wiggle it and spread me open.”

Sex Worker Confessions: Gracie Passette
“But underneath it all, sex workers are all about bridging, in body & soul, word & deed, the irreconcilable differences between realities and desires.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Persian Kitty Alternative

Editor’s Choice
Baker’s Birthday

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Friday, January 25, 2008

feminist spanking porn - redux

I just wanted to say thankyou to Adele and Niki for taking up the thread of my post on how feminist politics can be reconciled with creating M/f spanking porn. Each of them has a thought-provoking perspective on the issue which is well worth reading if you haven't already. I've particularly got a lot out of reading the comments, which have been fascinating and insightful, and I'm really pleased that so many people have contributed to the discussion :)

Unfortunately all my attempts to join in with the conversations on either Adele's or Niki's blog have been thwarted by an overactive spam filter blocking all my comments¹. I'm hoping this can be remedied, but in the meantime, be assured that I am reading and engaging with everything that's being said! It's frustrating not being able to participate, but I shall see it as a much-needed exercise in patience. Hopefully I'll be able to respond to everyone's thoughtful replies soon - and if not, trust me that it wasn't through lack of interest. Perhaps I'll save up my replies and post them here instead, but I'm wary of letting this thread take over my blog entirely...

1. Obviously, as a feminist I am convinced that this is all the fault of the patriarchy. My voice as a woman is being silenced! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Look at the violence inherent in the system! Etc.

Spanking Fear and Shackled Maidens



Thanks to my friends over at Spanking Delights, I recently saw these previews from a shoot I did with Spanking Fear last summer. Fans of Northern Spanking and Bars and Stripes will recognise the inimitable Stephen Lewis, an excellent dom with a firm hand and a VERY comfortable lap - it's always a pleasure to work with him!

There's a free clip on the site of a scene where I was playing his slave - a woman he's abducted and is now trying to teach to be obedient. On the same day we also filmed a clip where I was his "human pet" and kept in a cage wearing only a collar and leather bondage mittens - I don't know about him but I enjoyed that far too much!



In my opinion, the best aspect of these stills and clips is the photography and lighting. Everything is so moody and atmospheric. It's not surprising when you realise that Spanking Fear is run by the same production company as famous bondage site Shackled Maidens, and they have some very well-known faces (and bottoms) modelling for them. Which goes some way towards explaining how they managed to get Kumi Monster acting in a very rare spanking movie ...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Pandora's Mailbox #2: How does it feel?

I've had a few interesting questions in my mailbox lately, and I thought it might be interesting to throw some of the topics open and see what you guys have to say about them.

Question:
How does the cane feel, compared to other instruments? How intense is the pain, and how would you describe it?

My answer:
How does the cane feel... oooh, good question!

It's a very precise bite. There's sting, but only a line of it: more intense is the sharp/sweet/bitter ache that blossoms from it afterwards. It bites quite deep and there's usually quite a bit of throbbing that pulses underneath the line.

Used lightly a cane is teasing and whippy, like a switch only less cutting. This one of the most erotic sensations I know of, especially on very sensative parts of the body like breasts and thighs and feet. (I recently had the honour of watching Niki Flynn receive this kind of foot-caning from my own Mr C. I'm not quite ready to brave it myself yet!) You can build up a very rapid, very light, very stingy bouncing motion that wakes up the skin and sends electricity crackling underneath it. On the bottom, it'll make most subs arch out towards the bouncing touch and want more.

Used hard, thin canes are whippy and stingy. They burn with a high-pitched flare that quickly starts to itch. (This is my least favourite!) Thicker canes that are still quite light are the mildest of all. There's less sting, but not enough thud that it starts feeling like it's bruising.

Heavier, denser canes are the most intense for me. Each stroke paints a line of white light that seems to sear through the muscle there, and glows and throbs with increasing heat. The bruises form under the skin in little pulsing knots.

If you haven't experienced any of this for yourself yet, I would certainly encourage you to - the cane is my very favourite implement, not least because of its huge versatility. There's something in it for everyone :)

Five kinky reasons...

... to see the new Sweeney Todd film:

1. Johnny Depp putting a razorblade to Helena Bonham-Carter's throat. I didn't find the actual throat-slitting erotic, but the power play between these two was intense. Especially if you like breath-play, knife-play or the threat of it. It felt as if every single duet between the pair of them evolved into him pinning her and holding a knife to her throat. Not that I'm complaining.

2. Judge Turpin (that's Alan Rickman) talking about geishas! And catamites! And trying to corrupt the young male protagonist! And lusting after his young female ward! (Whom Sweeney also seems worryingly obsessed with given she's his daughter. There's more than a hint that he's got confused between the two blonde female relatives of his lost family.) Also Alan Rickman looking really hot in tight trousers and stubble.

3. Abuses of authority! Rape, incest, lashings, the workhouse! Well, at least the threat of them.

4. Lunatic asylums and corset-dresses with built-in straitjackets. (I so, so badly want to make a CP film set in Fogg's Asylum.)

5. Judge Turpin saying to his ward "I've spared the rod till now, but - ". I shall leave the rest to your imagination.

If you don't like musicals, don't bother seeing it. There's a lot of singing and it's all marvellously over-the-top. But if you don't mind that, and if you like grungy melodramatic Victoriana, corsetry, leather trenchcoats, tight trousers, Dickensian London, urchins, power abuse, victimised children, caged girls, sexual harassment, lunatic asylums, blood, razorblades, shaving, haircutting, exposed throats or cannibalism, then you'll probably enjoy it just as much as I did ...

P.S. I've filed this under my usual startles tag, "corrupting the innocent", but in case it wasn't obvious, there is nothing innocent about this film. Tim Burton is as perverse as the rest of us. In fact, he's probably worse.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

cum-shots, spanking, and the role of blogging in feminist porn

Debate rages on the issue of feminist porn. Can porn be feminist, and if so, how? I'm not an expert on feminist theory, but I consider myself a feminist and I'm fairly obviously pro-porn. I don't think it's enough to naively state that being female makes anything one chooses to do a feminist act. I also don't buy into the idea that because I find spanking hot I've been brainwashed by the patriarchy and internalised my oppression, but I do feel that because my sexual preferences are easily associated with misogynistic acts, I have a responsibility to make the distinction as clear as possible.

The key for me - as with most kinky people - is consent. And I'm not just talking about spanking, here. I'm talking about representations of any sexual act in porn. D. recently linked me to some blogs debating about whether blowjobs performed by women, and specifically the "cum-shot", have a place in feminist porn. It's an interesting debate, and if you'll bear with me I'd like to use it as an example.

Can the "money-shot" ever be feminist?

Some writers believe the overuse of the cum-shot in mainstream porn has rendered it so trashy and generic, with so little reference to the preferences and desires of the women involved, that it is now inherently degrading, and should be totally avoided by directors trying to create a more equality-focussed, sexually liberated pornography. Petra Joy, a film director who self-describes as "creating porn that is radically different, exploring what is taboo in mainstream porn: sensuality, intimacy; men as objects of female desire and male bisexuality", wrote the following provocative statement:

"Feminism is committed to equality of the sexes, so surely "feminist porn" should show women as equals to men rather than as subservient beings. A woman receiving head, a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on, a guy tasting his own cum and also to feature female ejaculation – those techniques that show a woman in control might be "feminist porn". If you want to show cum on a woman's face that's fine but don't call it feminist."

A number of responses sprang up from feminist bloggers challenging this view. Erika Lust sharply critiques any attempt to create a new orthodoxy about what kind of sexual act is or isn't feminist. Replacing one set of oppressive unequal standards with another isn't progressive; rather, porn should focus on the sexuality and desires of both its male and female participants:

For me "feminist porn" is porn that shows real women and real men having real sex, not just women obedient to men reproducing classic power structures, not just objectified women, not just women giving pleasure but also receiving pleasure. [...] For me feminist porn should portray women’s fantasies and desires – all of them. I certainly know that a woman can be a strong feminist and still wanting to be taken strongly by a man or enjoying blowing a man’s cock or having his cum all over her face.

So for Erika, it's all about the expressions of desire from both male and female characters in a porn film.

Ms Naughty expands on Erika's point, with a well-written, witty post about how context is everything. For Ms Naughty, a scene of a guy jerking off on a silent, empty-eyed model isn't hot. She'd be far more interested in a scene of a woman enthusiastically going down on her male partner, including shots showing the man's face and expressions of his pleasure, which ends with the woman excitedly saying "come on my face, I love that". Ms Naughty encourages us ...

... to think about the way mainstream porn gives priority to certain sex acts and the context in which they’re presented. [...] Choice, consent and desire are what makes the difference and if I’m not seeing that, I will tend to think negatively about certain sex acts in porn.

(Ms Naughty's site Penis Karaoke offers a more light-hearted take on the whole subject, which I'd heartily recommend.)

Waking Vixen takes this one step further. For her, the relevant point isn't the characters in the porn or what happens in the scene, but on how empowered the female models are in the production process:

What I do care about is: does that performer want to be there? Is the director/producer respecting her needs and paying her appropriately? Did she get blindsided by requests for acts she doesn’t want to do?

So what does this have to do with spanking?

Unsurprisingly, you don't read about spanking porn much in the feminist press. But I don't see that a scene of a woman being spanked by a man is any different theoretically from a scene of a man coming on a woman's face - in both scenes the woman takes a subservient role, and the focus is typically on the man's desire and the woman's body as an object of that desire.

In mainstream porn that isn't focussing on power play, it's possible for producers to focus more on female agency and desire in a way that reconstructs these tired pornographic tropes in a way that is both empowering and interesting. But in spanking and BDSM porn, this isn't so simple. The premise of much of the erotic material in this genre is non-consent. For both characters in the film to be empowered would be to kind of miss the point. While there are a lot of very inspiring erotic spanking movies featuring women who want to be spanked and explicitly request and enjoy it - and more power to the directors of these movies - can porn for us ladies who get off on non-consent scenarios ever be feminist?

I think the answer is yes, and the key lies in Waking Vixen's post about the desires and consent of the models, and how empowered and respected they are by the production process. It's okay for porn to feature women being hurt and degraded - but in material this edgy, it's crucially important that everyone involved in the film's production explicitly and actively consents to the content of the film. The desires of the models, not the desires of the characters, becomes the crucial factor. Those desires should be respected on set, by the tops and the photographers they're working with. There's a question of basic professionalism here: a model's limits should be respected; no model should be asked more than once to do anything she doesn't want to; a model's time should not be wasted. But there's also a question of kink. The characters clearly aren't enjoying what's happening. But are the models enjoying it?

And that's where blogging comes in. A lot of spanking models have started keeping blogs writing about their experiences and explaining what they get out of it. It's not just a good way of finding out more about your favourite spankee. It's absolutely essential if we want to promote spanking porn that is progressive, focussed on real-life sexual equality and not only on male agency and desire. Yes, it's important to portray men and women in a variety of roles - men being spanked as well as women, women and men both doing the spanking, characters who enjoy their spankings and characters who don't. But the content of the movie is a secondary issue to the consent and desire of the performers.

I'd love to see more models - male and female - adding their voices and telling the world why they do what they do, and what they get out of it. It's not enough for models to be respected and consulted in the production process - the choice and consent of the models needs to be made clearly and loudly explicit. Whether it's in a blog or in an interview at the end of the movie, for spanking porn to be feminist the models' voices need to be heard.

Poised

I found this photo today on Flickr's "100 best photographers" group:



(by Paul Pennell)

I daresay the image wasn't composed with CP in mind, but damn, isn't that the most perfect posture for a caning? I'd be tempted to recreate the shot with added welts for the benefit of perverts like you and me, but I have neither the correct silhouette nor the poise to create the right visual impact (no pun intended!).

I bet a model who had dancing experience could pull it off, though. I'd love to see a caning photoset featuring, say, Amelia Jane Rutherford or Niki Flynn, shot in a similar moody style. I can just imagine it ... the way the hand lightly resting on the door frame would clench and grip the wood as the strokes bit ...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

big and beautiful

Amy Hunter is posting some fantastic previews of Spanking BBW over on her blog at the moment.

As you probably know by now, I'm a fan of curves and have learned to love my pear-shaped body. This is the shape I am when I'm healthy, exercising, and eating well, and I have no desire to seek a thinness that would be unnatural to me through starving myself. I don't think bigger is necessarily better, but there is beauty to be found in all shapes and sizes. Beauty isn't just about form, it's about grace, poise and the way someone moves. It's in someone's eyes and their voice and the quality of their skin. Seeing a beautiful naked body that is completely unself-conscious and comfortable with itself is one of the greatest delights in this world. I love gloriously curvaceous women with rippling thighs and firm globes everywhere you look, and I love slender, willowy waifs with small breasts and smooth hollows beneath their hipbones, and I love sleek, muscular women with strong shoulders and rounded biceps, and I love pillowy breasts and dimples and softly rounded bellies. And that's before I even start talking about men!

I'd love to see more variety in the body shape of models in erotic photography. At the moment skinny is the norm and any deviation from this is considered to be either substandard or special interest. One of the things I love about spanking porn is its greater willingness to see the beautiful in bottoms of all shapes and sizes. The compliments I've received from people on shoots and through this blog on my own curvy frame and plump behind has done wonders for my self-confidence, giving me a frank and relaxed appreciation of and affection for my idiosyncrasies. I'm grateful for that, and I really hope that all the kinky girls who aren't as skinny as the magazines want us to believe we should be find the same comfort in their skin.

Spanking BBW is an amazing venture in this respect, and it deserves the wholehearted support of everyone who wants to help deconstruct oppressive patriarchal standards for male and female beauty - and for our sexualities. Even if big and beautiful isn't your preferred taste, please take the time to express your support for Lucy McLean and her wonderful models, perhaps leaving a comment here for me to pass on, or on Amy's blog. And if round and spankable is your cup of tea, you might want to consider joining the member's area of Spanking BBW.

I can't stress enough how important I think it is that the artificial construct of what is considered beautiful or acceptable be exploded, broken down. Every woman with an exhibitionist streak has the right to get thrills from showing herself off for the pleasure of others. Every kinky girl has the right to see girls like her portrayed in erotic pictures, not just the thin ones. There is so much scope and variation to beauty it seems backwards and ridiculous to limit ourselves arbitrarily to one sort of beauty or another.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Over her knee

Today I had my first spanking shoot since last July. I was nervous, but more because I was working with new people than because of the CP itself. (Happily for me, it's not been six months since I was last spanked - my lords have been keeping me well in practice.) The shoot was schoolgirl-themed, based on a domestic auntie-niece scenario after a disappointing school report.

Nothing too original or radical, then. But you know what? It was fun. I really enjoyed myself. They wanted lots of reaction, so I got to kick and squeal and sulk and cry to my heart's content. My 'aggrieved teenager' mode doesn't get aired much in private - when I'm playing at home, I'm very definitely a woman rather than a little girl. But I like roleplay. I like playing at being a little girl. I like stamping my feet and tossing my head; I like being able to shriek in outrage at the first smack that really stings. Basically, I like making a fuss. And although I'm hardly stoic when I'm playing for real, I'm too proud to be that much of a crybaby if I can help it. When I'm submitting for real, I like to try to be brave. But in roleplay, it can be hugely erotic to make a tremendous fuss. Especially if it's all to no avail...

Of course, there's nothing to stop us indulging in roleplay in private - and we do, sometimes. But our lives are busy ones, and we barely feel like we get enough time together already, before we start spending some of it as other people. So for one reason or another, the shoot today was my first roleplay scene in months. And boy, was it hot. I had a lot of fun. :)

It helped that my spanker for the day was a very attractive lady who was a few years older than myself. It's funny, but although I like girls, I don't tend to meet many who are interested in spanking me. My female lovers tend to be as submissive as I am. It makes for great multi-girl scenes, but it means that the only times I get spanked by a woman tend to be on shoots. And I love it. I'd forgotten how much I love it. Women can spank just as hard as men - and there's a sharpness, a stinginess, a humiliating edge to their spanking that can be incredibly intense. Being over a man's knee can be humbling, and belittling, and helpless - but with a woman it's different, somehow. I can't describe it without resorting to misleading generalisations. All people and all spankers are different, and everything depends on the particular connection between spanker and spankee. But in my experience, so far, there is a particular style which female tops have tended to use with me, a mode which is subtly other from a male top doing things the same way. And it's amazingly erotic.

Sadly, I won't have any photos to show you from today's shoot, as the film was privately commissioned and not for public release. But I can tell you that one scene featured me being caned while wearing a little summer school dress and white socks. Rather similar, in fact, to a scene in the latest release from Northern Spanking, a domestic drama featuring an authoritarian mother, a bratty daughter, and a bewildered new governess. You can see more preview pics over at Amy Hunter's blog, but I hope she won't mind my reposting this one:



The gorgeous girl playing the governess is Zoe Montana. She's not only beautiful, she's a fantastically talented roleplayer and great person. I wouldn't be at all disappointed to find myself over her knee again :)

Friday, January 04, 2008

storm trooper spanking

How's this for the ultimate combination of geek love and kink?


(from this collection of Star Wars tattoo art.)

I have to say, if this image had been designed by me, it would have far more probably featured Han and Leia. But the idea of being punished by a storm trooper has a sort of institutional appeal. I can't imagine a trooper spanking anyone over his knee (although it would be interesting to find out what those gloves feel like), but some sort of military strapping wouldn't be out of character. They'd probably use something more futuristic than leather, though. Maybe a stainless steel or lexan cane, or an aluminium paddle would fit the scene better?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

hairbrushes and bath brushes

Happy new year! I've just about recovered from this year's celebrations, and am full of optimism about 2008. There hasn't been much play amongst the festivities, but I do have a story from the days just following Christmas.

While D was discovering pervertibles attached to his ceiling, Tom and I have been investigating new domestic implements of our own. Most notably a long-handled, heavy wooden bath brush belonging to one of my housemates. I've been eyeing this thing ever since I moved in - not least because at least one of my housemates is kinky, so it's entirely possibly that the bath brush has already been well and truly perverted.

But after the emotional rollercoaster of this year, during which I got so out of practice as far as traditional CP went, I was nervous about suggesting the bath brush to Tom. Although he must have noticed it himself. I'm improving slowly though, pushing my limits out a little further each time, and one evening I was feeling playful.

I've had little oval hairbrushes on my mind lately - polished wood, the kind a governess would use. Tom's hairbrush is large and square, with a very crisp stingy smack which is extremely hard to take, particularly used at speed. That hairbrush has had me kicking and literally screaming on more than one occasion, when I wasn't in the mood for a spanking and was getting one regardless. It's a vicious little beast. (This is all on the bare, of course: the sting of that hairbrush is actually quite nice over tight jeans.)

So, lacking a small, elegant ladies' hairbrush, I found my mind wandering to the untried bathbrush. Heavier, of course, but it would give me with warmth of thick wood without the unforgiving sting of Tom's hairbrush, or the coverage of a paddle. Tom thought the idea was an excellent one, and was kind enough to warm me up thoroughly beforehand.

The first two sets of six, over pillows on the bed with my bare bottom raised, were warm-up strokes, and as I squeaked and wriggled I could feel the effect they were having between my legs. It packed a generous wallop, but it was a pleasingly warm, weighty sensation - lots of thud at the centre of the impact, not too much sting at the edges. I began to think that this bathbrush might be my friend after all.

How wrong I was. The first "non warm-up" stroke landed squarely on the exposed line below my left cheek, which (Tom explained later) he had carefully left un-warmed with his hand to demonstrate how kind he was to warm up the rest of me. It burned. I flew out of position, clutching my injured cheek and failing to bite down on the swear-words escaping my mouth. I was lucky not to be punished further for that, but he chose to be lenient in light of the trick he'd played on me. The next five were not light, though. By the end my entire bottom was sore, and tormented by an unpleasant tickling sort of sensation. I've noticed that effect of heavy wooden implements - one's bottom takes on almost a sort of chilly numbness to the touch, afterwards, unlike the flames caused by leather, but with a deeper ache, and a prickly surface tingling.

Tom took pity on me, and rubbed aloe vera gel into my punished bottom, which helped my skin and my mood considerably. The rest of the evening was extremely pleasurable. But I don't think I'll ever underestimate that bath brush - or the importance of a proper warm-up - again.

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