Sunday, July 04, 2010

discovering DebPorn

Natty introduced me to a new genre of spanking fiction recently: debporn, defined as "severe, family setting discipline and/or humiliation including very raw anal/crotch spankings. May or may not include sex. Very intense."

I strongly prefer my parent/child discipline fantasies to be non-sexual, and so I didn't expect to like what I read when I clicked the link to the writings of Debbie Ann, who lent her name to the genre. Most of the stories on the site are real-life scene reports; only one page matches the debporn description. But that page!

I usually start with her breasts, for her routine discipline. Hands on her head, legs spread is her position, and then I slap her breasts back and forth. Sometimes she has to put a rubber band on each one to make them stand out more. And sometimes she has to put a clothespin on each nipple.

I realize that most daughters get bare bottom spankings, and DebAnn gets plenty of those, but I've also found that she benefits greatly from some unusual forms of discipline. That is why I've developed discipline routines for her breasts, crotch, and anus. The breast slaps are part of her routine training, if she needs punishment I'll use the belt on her breasts. I make her lie down on her bed and hold up one breast at a time and then I smack each one with a belt. It looks a lot more severe than it actually is.

I'm not sure what it is that hooked me. The matter-of-fact delivery; the tiny, succinct vignettes; the extreme discomfort caused by reading sexualised, non-consensual parental punishment scenarios. I'm still pretty sure I don't like sex in my family discipline stories. And I don't like crotch spankings at all, so that element was rather offputting. But by the end of those three snippets, I was hopelessly aroused. Something about the placement of acts which I would normally categorise as erotic, consensual BDSM - breast punishment, display, onlookers invited to participate - in the taboo setting of family discipline somehow makes the fantasy sizzle. The actual acts are things that I find extremely erotic and sexual. In this context, they are so, so wrong. But also undeniably hot.

So it's not surprising that I liked Natty's newest story, Under-the-Bed Restraints.

Every night after I brush my teeth and wash my face, I lay down on my bed over a pile of fluffy pillows and Mother uses them, the Under-the-Bed Restraints, to tie me down. She pulls my nightgown up and my panties down so that I’m ready for Father and my Purity Inspection. He’s been doing them every night since I started my period. He says this way he’ll know if I’ve been thinking unclean thoughts or worse.

Most nights he inspects me by poking his gloved finger into my womanhood. Tracing his finger up to my rosebud. Back down to my womanhood. And my bottom hole.

If I’m moist, I get the strop.

And I’m always moist.

I read it on the train coming back from London yesterday, and by the time I'd finished I was uncomfortably turned on. I squirmed in my seat all the way home, until I could steal some private time and seek some relief.

As with Debbie's writing, there are plenty of individual elements in this story which are Not My Thing. Aside from the sexualised-parents angle, there's more crotch punishment (I tended to skip those sections - genital punishment is an out-and-out squick for me, not a love-hate thing or "so wrong it's right"), and I tend to be put off by CP stories with Christian religious contexts. Christianity is not something I'm minded to fetishise, and I'll usually avoid scenarios that use it to create an edge.

But in Natty's story, it worked for me simply because it made the scenario more believable. A parent touching their child in a sexual way is nasty, but combine it with the "for your own good" trope of CP porn and it becomes slightly more palatable. The sexual aspects simply become another punishment tool. As in the standard parent/child punishment scenario, the parent isn't overtly motivated by sexual desire (although in edgy scenes it's often implied that the parent is a creep or pervert taking things beyond reason); the surface narrative is one of puritanical discipline, not perverted lust. And there aren't many convincing surface narratives which excuse the sexual discipline of a child by their parent. A warped, puritanical fundamentalist Christianity just about stretches far enough; we can just about believe a fanatical parent would be able to delude themselves that they weren't doing anything wrong. And that creates just enough distance, just enough surface asexuality, for me to be able to accept the underlying creepiness, non-consent and nastiness of the scenario.

And the individual components of the fantasy - ritualistic, regularly scheduled punishment, unfair or unavoidable punishment, facedown restraint, anal display and inspections, anal whipping, severe strapping on the bare bottom - are absolutely to my taste. In fact, they've been on my mind rather a lot since reading this story. I want to ask Tom to help me enact my favourite bits of this scene (minus the parental/religious/crotch-punishment elements) but I don't know if I could take a strapping that hard without being immersed in an overlying narrative. And to be honest, I don't think either of us would feel comfortable roleplaying a scene like this in private.

It's a conundrum. Perhaps the answer is to shoot a disturbing, debporny scene for my new site sometime, using the shoot as an excuse that allows us to distance ourselves enough from the scenario that we could bring ourselves to act it out. In the meantime, I shall continue to enjoy the fantasy. Thankyou Natty - and Debbie Ann - for the hot, thought-provoking fantasies, and for showing me that I'm not the only one to find ideas this disturbing exciting as well.

12 comments:

  1. For me, the family element in stories, especially if a sexual element is added, always puts me off. Ageplay scenarios, when put in a purely nonsexual light, aren't quite as off-putting, but they're far from my favorite. I can act out an ageplay scene in real life because I can see the GROWN ADULT in front of me that I'm playing it with. Stories, though, or online roleplay, are a bit unsettling. Unfortunately, younger characters tend to be the norm in roleplay groups, but they at least ban or limit sexual scenes in the mix. Plus, if I can convince one or two roleplayers to act as teens instead of preteens, it can at least come closer to my own fantasies.

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  2. It was interesting to write them down - I found out something surprising - they lost some of their power when I wrote them. Over time though, those same fantasies are the ones that work for me. It is a little sad to me that I can't find more of it written by others. I do like natty's story - it is hot.

    Thanks for writing about them. I'm honored.

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  3. Pandora, the main feeling I have about this is that it's *hot* that it turns you on. That's the point of these writings, to arouse kinky adults, but it seems there always has to be sincere apologies that it would be a terrible thing in reality, and long explanations about how it's not about real children, etc, etc... That should be obvious. Maybe it is about real children to some people, but they exist whether we indulge in our harmless fantasies or not.

    I'd love it if my wife was turned on by these kinds of scenarios. Oh, the fun we'd have, even if it was just talking about them. I'm not attracted to all the kinks in these stories, but most anything that turns her on is good if only for that reason. Me---I love punishment, helplessness, fear, exposure, humility, the sting of spanking and agonizing embarrassment. Family discipline, where a child is under parental authority, is a powerfully authentic setting for all this to happen. I think it can also be potentially very humiliating because the conditions of punishment and control are so genuine. I want the "child" to be "too old" for this kind of treatment. The fear and helplessness is real. The exposure is not to seduce, but to those we least want to be exposed to. The parent is not acting on sexual motivation, or at least they're not supposed to be. In our imagination, the child punished at the center of the terrible ritual is us, whichever role we assume.

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  4. Thank you for such an articulate discussion about why scenarios like these can be so hot while being so disturbing at the same time. Like you, I too had always found stories with sexuality between parent and child too squicky to read much less find hot. And being a devout Christian for much of my life, fetishizing something so profound was near blasphemous.

    However one night a few years ago, A. and I ended up spontaneously playing out an incest scene. We've continued to do so since then, with hotter and more disturbing results. It's left me a lot more comfortable with fantasies like that one I just posted, even if I was uncomfortable posting it. But oy, was that Purity Inspection my go-to wank fantasy for months... ;-)

    Brent: the child punished at the center of the terrible ritual is us, whichever role we assume. Exactly! Well put.

    I too think it should be obvious that these are fantasies without the need for apologies. But then things like this happen. Mostly an aberration, yes. But unfortunately people who have real power don't understand the difference. And so I put redundant disclaimers and needless apologies to make it as explicit as possible to those context-challenged individuals.

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  5. Thank you, Pandora, for having to courage to talk openly about your feelings about these kind of writings. I do think that it's an important part of wiitwd, that we deal with the uncomfortable things (e.g. real life events) that get us aroused.

    I certainly can relate because of the way attitudes were in my part of the U.S. while I was growing up. I've had to on more than one occasion, deal with a woman friend telling me about having been spanked or belted or paddled at home or at school and having to strike the right balance of sympathy and openness without asking "too many" questions and certainly not revealing being aroused.

    I think many of us want to explore these issues, but it's so tricky to find the right space in terms of media or conversational participants.

    I'm grateful for what you're doing here and for the writing you're sharing.

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  6. For me, this material is an enormous turn off. In fact, it repels me so strongly that I can't bear to read more than two or three sentences at a time. It's worse, for me, than watching a car crash. The pieces combine so many things that I abhor (including sexualised parent/child interactions, crotch/genital punishments, and Christianity). If just one of these were present, I would feel (at least) uncomfortable. Any one of them would be enough to prevent me from finding the material sexually stimulating. (I would, at least, need to rewrite the material in my head, removing that element.) The combination of all of them together is simply unbearable.

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  7. Anonymous4:13 AM

    'And the individual components of the fantasy - ritualistic, regularly scheduled punishment, unfair or unavoidable punishment, facedown restraint, anal display and inspections, anal whipping, severe strapping on the bare bottom - are absolutely to my taste.'

    This one sentence pushed so many of my buttons, dear Pandora, that I had to leave off reading your delightful blog and go and deal with myself! Thank you so much for being so forthright about so many wonderful aspects of spanking and discipline. xx

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  8. Hmm, "DebPorn". Had never heard of it before.

    A subject like this poses a great dilemma for me. I am a firm believer in the freedom - and I mean total freedom - of erotic fantasy. As long as it is a *fantasy*, where no one real is harmed, people are welcome to fantasise about whatever they want as far as I am concerned - rape, murder, torture, even the sexual abuse of minors. Regardless of how vile it is, a *fantasy* does not hurt anyone. And as any psychologist will tell you, it is healthier to acknowledge one's fantasies and deal with them than it is to suppress them - if anything, it is the suppression that might lead to violent behaviour in the real world.

    So I am a believer in the freedom of erotic fantasy, and I believe that there is no such thing as an "immoral" fantasy - actions are moral or immoral, but not fantasies. I am also a believer in the total freedom of speech. So, again, if people want to write about rape, torture or murder, they are welcome to as far as I am concerned, and I will defend their freedom to do so, no matter how tasteless or disgusting I myself may find their writings. As long as it is a mere story, it does not harm anyone, just like a mere fantasy does not harm anyone (the claim that reading violent stories or watching violent media leads people to violent behaviour on any statistically measurable scale has been proven wrong many times).

    However, there are two - and only two - cases where I would urge people to strongly consider self-censorship when it comes to writing about them in a public forum:

    1) erotic fantasies involving Nazis or Nazi atrocities
    2) erotic fantasies involving the abuse of minors, especially when it is sexual abuse

    Again, I have no objections against someone fantasising about it or acting such scenarios out as a role-play with their consenting adult friends. If you want to parade around in SS uniforms within the four walls of your home while you whip your BDSM-loving wife, fine! I will believe you when you say that it is only an erotic game for you and that you do not sympathise with the Nazi ideology in any way.

    However, doing it in public, or writing about it in a public forum, is a very bad idea in my view. You are going to have an impossible time trying to convince the average Ozzies and Harriets out there that you are not a real Nazi or, in case of erotic fantasy number 2, a pedophile. More importantly, you are providing the best possible fodder for all the prudes and fundamentalists out there who love to portray every practicioner of BDSM as sick, deviant and potentially dangerous. The moral panics created by any kind of BDSM scenario can be bad enough, but there is nothing that compares to the kind of moral panic when even the faintest notion comes up that someone might support Nazism or child abuse.

    The dilemma here for me is that I normally abhor self-censorship - when people start censoring themselves, it means that the censors have already won. But in these - and only these - two cases of erotic stories, I wonder if it might not be the wiser choice. At least as long as we live in a world ruled by tabloids instead of science and by soundbites and over-simplifications instead of nuanced analysis and discussion.

    I constantly vacillate between supporting truly total freedom of speech and advocating self-censorship in these few extreme cases (I never advocate censorship, only self-censorship). So I am afraid that I do not have a firm position yet. As I said, writings like this DebPorn pose a dilemma for me.

    (Although I did not find, during a glance at the website, any open reference that the characters in the stories are underage, it seems to be implied.)

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