need

I woke up slowly this morning from thick, vivid dreams. I'd dreamed about watching Amelia-Jane Rutherford being strapped on a shoot we were doing together, with a thick, leather strap so stiff it was almost a paddle. The pink bulls-eyes that glowed on her pert, heart-shaped bottom after the first few strokes were almost unnaturally round; perfect ovals of colour and heat.

I dreamed about Lowewood Academy; about a festival or convention that was taking place there, simultaneously in and out of character, and a scene I was creating for it, a fantasy that became real, in the dream, as I imagined it. I was bent over a low-lying tree branch that stretched out parallel to the ground, in the woods somewhere near the school. I hung from that branch, hair flying and feet dangling, while a long, thick brown leather strap was applied heavily to my own behind.

At the same time I dreamed that I was writing this scene, in pencil; bent over the paper obsessively; writing in the classroom, on the bus, at every opportunity I had; filling lined sheets of paper with tiny grey script. I remember describing the effect of that strap in loving detail, lingering on the way it wrapped around the curve of each buttock, heavy as a paddle but more flexible. In my dream I spent some time distinguishing between the colour brought out earlier on Amelia's cheeks, like a doll's blushes, and the effect this strap had on me, both fat buttocks licked all over with painful red.

Work and real life caught up with me when I woke up, and I didn't really have the mental space to think about spanking for the rest of the day. I barely checked the blogs and hardly noticed the moistness that lingered between my legs from the morning's dream. When Tom came round this evening, I knew he'd be tired and couldn't stay long, and wasn't really expecting the heat that surrounded our kisses. I was wearing a short dress (my room was far too hot, and I was tidying), and when he reached around to squeeze my bottom as the hem rose up to reveal it, I suddenly, desperately, wanted more.

He didn't disappoint me. He started light, pulling me playfully over his lap and keeping me off balance, further forward than I usually lie and legs lifted into the air by his right thigh. He smacked me warmly, letting the heat of each spank sink in before upping the pace. I gasped and wriggled, not even feeling pain as the delicious feeling flooded me. I'd needed this, badly. He spanked me carefully, hard, making my skin dance between pain and pleasure. I bounced on his lap, giving myself up to it completely. When it began to really hurt I smothered my face in the duvet and moaned.

He stopped and I thanked him, but for all our intention to move onto other intimacies he soon changed his mind. I was over his lap again, my legs pinned beneath his right thigh this time as he sat cross-legged on the bed. He'd asked me to get out his wooden hairbrush, a square beast that I've lived in fear of for several months. When he pinned one of my wrists in the small of my back I knew this was going to really hurt.

But he started kindly, bringing heat to my skin, teasing me with sensation. The harder spanks, when they came, were slow and satisfying, not too much to bear at all. He jolted his knee whenever he thought I needed adjusting, shifting my arse higher into the air, landing the spanks deep into the muscle of my rump. I squealed and kicked and had no fear. He knows how to make me scared, how to pace things so I feel nervous, and he wasn't doing that tonight. He was giving me what we both needed. Gradually the speed increased until I was sobbing for real into the pillows, and then it was over. He wasn't going to push me tonight.

He helped me up into a warm cuddle, and I could feel the flush in my cheeks, the sparkle in my eyes. And I thanked him, very nicely.

Brazilian Women's Soccer Team

Someone sent this photo to D. the other day. It stands alone as a very pleasing image, but in my opinion the filename improves it immeasurably. I have no idea if the claim is true or not, but I'm choosing to believe that it is :)



Now, all this picture is missing is a really long whip...

Edit: my good friend J has just informed me that it really is the Brazilian women's football team, and from a shoot they did for Playboy. I don't know which issue of Playboy it was, so it might not be the current team, but it's still genuine. The shoot is online here and definitely worth a look :)

addicted

I've just lost two hours of this evening to reading through back-entries in the Lowewood Academy blog. I've been aware of this blog's existence since it was created in 2006, but, knowing how immersive and addictive my friends in the blogosphere was finding it, I decided early on that I didn't have time to get involved.

Since I picked up this blog again I've been getting increasingly addicted to reading spanking blogs. My feeds list at Bloglines (which I highly recommend, by the way) numbers 40 these days, with most of them posting an entry a day, and I keep finding more and more blogs that are worthy of my attention, most of which are listed in the links section in the sidebar. Now, I keep few other blogs scattered around the internet, mostly personal ones for my friends who aren't in the CP scene. Recently I decided that I was losing far too much of my allocated work time to blogging, and cut back on the number of non-spanking journals I was reading in the hope of regaining some discipline. But apparently, the habit is too entrenched to shift so easily. An ever-growing number of spanking blogs have bubbled up to fill the gap in my day that was created by slimming down my personal reading list.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I've just stumbled and fallen into the booklined rabbit-hole that is Lowewood. I can't possibly hope to find time to read the complete archive, and the plots are complex enough that I feel out of my depth. But it's compelling nonetheless: the writing is excellent, the characters engaging, and the stories utterly plausible. I'm not sure I've ever read such convincing, realistic school CP writing, and the range of writers and voices only adds to the richness of the Lowewood universe.

I know that I should be setting a good example. After all, you probably don't have time to spend a week getting lost in the heady library of Lowewood's archived entries either. It's highly irresponsible of me to encourage my readers to fall from grace and spend hours and days that they should be working reading spanking stories. But I suspect that most of you will be doing this whether or not I advise otherwise, and if so you may as well be reading the best there is. And it would be hypocritical of me to preach abstention when I'm apparently completely incapable of practicing it.

I have retained one tiny scrap of self-discipline, however. I'm virtuously refraining from finding out how one applies to become a pupil at Lowewood. Tempted as I am - and oh, I really am - I know full well I don't have time to take on another writing commitment, even if I was invited to do so. I'll stick to reading for now: I'm in way over my head as it is.

I've even started to wonder if I should ask one or both of my doms to start disciplining me for spending time surfing spanking blogs when I should be working. But it seems a bit circular to me, because then I'll just have more tasty punishment scenes to write about and fuel my enthusiasm for reading about CP. I think this might be an occasion where self-discipline is the only solution. Now, if only I could remember where I left mine...

Sugasm #123

Whee - my blog made Editor's Choice on this week's Sugasm! This makes me very happy :) Not only because it marks a "coming of age" of sorts for this blog (I've never been picked in Sugasm before. It's exciting!) but because this is an issue I'm really passionate about, and anything that will raise awareness and bring more people into the discussion is excellent. Thanks so much to everyone who's commented on the post so far - I'm reading and listening and nodding a lot, but I don't have much to add that I haven't already said in the entry. Please keep on posting responses, it's very good indeed to see that I'm not the only one to think the status quo is unacceptable.

__

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #124? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
A Seven Letter Word for Flowers
“I breathed into your neck, brushing my lips against your skin.”

Breakfast In Bed
“I rolled her over onto her back and she spread her legs willingly.”

Inked
“How quaint to be wooed with a soft brushing of lips over my fingers.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
L.A. Bondage

Editor’s Choice
Male spankees and the female gaze

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

spankings in uniform

Spanked Cheeks have just released a whole load of new FHGs - remember this shoot? I loved the Girl Guide uniform (although it made me wish fervently that I hadn't thrown my old one away - I only kept my sash) and Spanked Cheeks have quite a collection of authentic uniforms for models to wear in various scenarios:

shooting with Zoe Montana

On Monday I'll have the privilege of being the first model to shoot for Zoe Montana's forthcoming website. The site's still in production stages, but it promises to be pretty cool. Zoe has ambitions of creating a site that's half porn and half documentary, spotlighting male, female and trans models, and many areas of fetish in addition to spanking and CP. All in the early stages at the moment so who knows where the concept will end up, but the initial ideas are certainly intriguing.

This first shoot is going to be CP-focussed, since that's where most of my experience lies, although I might well get involved with the greater scope of the site as it develops. Zoe and I have scene ideas coming out of our ears, far more than we can fit into one day! But tomorrow we're hoping to include at least some of the following:

• sixth formers and prefects bullying, blackmailing and otherwise taking advantage of each other


• a madame training up her most promising girl in a 19th century bawdyhouse so she can cater to the particular demands of "special clients"


• 50s housewives having a secret, Sapphic affair to escape from the heavy-handed discipline of their husbands ... who discover an erotic side to spanking when it's not admistered as punishment

I can't wait!

Zoe and I are working together a fair bit at the moment, and I'm really enjoying the rapport that's developed between us. Here's a sneaky preview from our last shoot, for English Spankers:



(Thanks to Spanking News for the photo)

I'll start talking about girls again soon, I promise

After all that talk about male spankees, I feel I should mention that I would also be very happy to see more prominent personalities among the male tops in spanking porn. I first discovered Girls Boarding School years before I would ever have considered modelling on a site like that, and when I finally did go over Tom's knee it was the realisation of a long-held fantasy. I would not complain at all if there were more powerful, sexy male spankers in spanking films so I could crush on them like a schoolgirl.

Sure, I like older men and I like a realistic headmaster fantasy as much as the next girl. But there's always room for more young-looking, energetic, attractive male spankers as well. (Which does tie into my previous point. Maybe if the male doms were paid as much as the female ones, there'd be a wider variety of skilled male actors in the industry...)

Speaking of sexy male spankers, here's some pictures of one of my personal favourites. And with one of my favourite sexy female spankees over his lap as well ... it's enough to make a girl feel quite dizzy with excitement :)







(Pictures of Thomas Cameron and Catharine Corbet from Spanked Schoolgirl)

On a semi-related note, I'm thinking of starting to feature interviews with male models on this blog. I'd like to put a bit of effort into trying to redress the balance a little, and focus more on the men who put just as much into this scene as the girls do, often for much less reward. Adele Haze has already interviewed Razor Ryan, but there's always room for more. If you're a man who's appeared in commercial spanking films and you'd like to get involved, leave a comment or write me an email and I'll get back to you. I wouldn't be surprised to discover that none of you read my blog, but I thought it'd be worth asking ;)

Male spankees and the female gaze

Reading that spanking story by Richard Windsor got me thinking again about a topic which has been on my mind a lot lately. Namely, why there isn't more focus on male models in spanking porn, and why there doesn't seem to be much F/m porn intended for a female audience.

I'm not into spanking cute boys myself, but I know a lot of kinky women who are, and I've barely seen any spanking porn which caters to the desires of female spankers. Besides which I daresay I'm not the only female spankee who likes to imagine herself being punished as a boy, and would enjoy seeing more young, interesting male characters being disciplined in photos and films.

The F/m material that I've seen has tended to be produced for an exclusively male audience. The star of the show is the domme, who is usually a strong, glamorous, character, and the focus of most of the photography. Very rarely is any emphasis placed on the male sub or spankee, who is often faceless, voiceless or nameless - or all three. The result is male models that are to all extents and purposes anonymous, and who certainly don't attract the same attention as their female counterparts (a point made very well recently by Spanked Hortic).

I know of four male spanking models by name. There's Peter, the director of Full Force Productions, who sometimes plays the sub in his own F/m films. Then there's Tom of Punished Butts and Thebes of Well Spanked Man, both of whom produce their own material. Finally, there's Razor of Shadow Lane, a studio with a reputation for treating their male models well. But that's it. By comparison, I couldn't even count the number of female spanking models whose work I'm familiar with. Is this woeful ignorance on my part, or is there a serious dearth of male spankees who have made a name for themselves? (If you know of others, tell me about them! Do they have their own sites? Do they blog? Do they have an online presence, is there any way of getting in touch with them?)

I can understand that some male models would prefer to remain anonymous. But this shouldn't be a reason for enforced anonymity to be the norm. Female models aren't allowed to work for most spanking sites if they aren't happy showing their face, and anyone can use a pseudonym - women are just as much at risk of scandal as men are. And if willing male models are so thick on the ground that most studios can get away without paying them for the work they do, surely studios should be able to take their pick, and select models who aren't ashamed of what they do? Or are these studios so intent on cutting costs that they'll only use men who are willing to work for free (or, shockingly, men who are willing to pay to be included in the film), at the expense of quality?

I don't mean to insult any man who has worked for free - I can understand why people do it, and I've done unpaid shoots myself before, with trusted photographers. But as a female spanking model, I have the luxury of being able to choose, and I firmly believe in the advantages of an industry standard that is maintained by both the models and the producers. You can't expect professional quality without treating someone like a professional. The onus is on the studios to change their attitude and facilitate an increased professionalism in the expectations surrounding male characters and male models in spanking porn.

One excuse I've heard for the exclusive focus on the female characters in F/m and M/f porn is that male heterosexual viewers don't want to be distracted by a strong male presence in the scene. They want to be able to imagine themselves as the male character, and the male character therefore needs to be as generic and anonymous as possible. But I can't believe that all men feel this way. What about bisexual men who are into spanking - where is the porn that caters to them? And surely not all heterosexual men are so insecure or so lacking in imagination that they can't cope with the emphasis in a spanking scene being on the male actor?

I'm queer, and I like watching girls wriggle. But the main reason I enjoy watching girls being punished is because I can identify with them. The more developed the girl's character, the more easily I can imagine myself into the scene and enjoy a little mental roleplay. I'm pretty sure that many heterosexual female spankees enjoy watching girls being spanked for the same reason.

Do male spankees not do this as well? I would have thought that any spankee watching spanking porn would tend to imagine themselves as the victim, but I could be wrong. Do other people imagine themselves watching the scene, not participating in it? I'm genuinely curious about this and would appreciate hearing what my male readers think. As a spanker or spankee, how do you respond to porn? Which characters do you identify with and why? If you're a male spankee who watches F/m porn, how do you feel about the anonymity of the male characters - would you like to see more focus on the male models?

Because I'm certain the ladies would. In the words of my friend Ophelia, the top half of a happy F/m relationship:

If I'm looking at F/m I'm wanting to identify with the women and drool over the pretty suffering (but loving it) boys.

I'd much rather see (eg) a lovely nurse or female doctor take a strong but vulnerable, boyishly pretty male patient on a journey he's never even imagined before, than some beefcake who's barely even in shot lick the boots of a busty blonde while electrodes are passed through his genitals. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter (far from it, and the men usually look very happy about it indeed in the post-session shots!), but it just ain't my kink.

The "easy" answer to this question is that visual porn always has catered to men, always will cater to men, and men want the focus of their porn to be on women, end of story. I say bollocks to that. Female-produced porn designed for female viewers has already started to revolutionise mainstream porn, with many indie studios such as Lust Films focussing more on plot and characterisation, on female pleasure and male bodies as objects of female desire. The internet has facilitated the beginnings of a huge shift in the variety available in porn, and it's only going to increase.

Spanking porn has already turned around in the last couple of decades to cater more to women - from the first edition of Februs to female-run sites like Northern Spanking and Bars and Stripes, which cater explicitly to the fantasies of female spankees and submissives.

What about the fantasies of female spankers and female dominants? Where are the F/m and F/f sites designed to appeal to female spankers? Where are the videos that focus on the personalities and cute butts of male spankees? Am I looking in all the wrong places? Is this kind of spanking porn out there, and if so, where?

The Fly on the Wall

I loved this story posted by Richard Windsor on Friday. Any scenario that features male and female spankees being punished alongside each other is a rarity, and I'm always glad to see it. This is the second chapter in the story, and while I enjoyed Chapter 1 well enough, these scene is the one that really got my attention.

Richard strikes a perfect balance between the realistic, frightening atmosphere of the punishment and the sexual tension between the protagonists. Introducing eroticism into a spanking story frequently ruins the fantasy for me, but this is very nicely done. As a girl who likes watching other girls being punished, I found myself identifying by turns with both the male point of view and with the female object of his affections, which is a neat trick. As a result the story is surprisingly immersive, and very hot :)

"The Fly on the Wall" by Richard Windsor

Kyle had never been spanked in his life, he felt totally vulnerable as his bottom stuck high up in the air, and while he was not familiar with the position, it made him feel a lot younger than his 19 years. Mrs. Collins took a firm grip of his waist and placed her right hand on his bottom. She looked at her daughter sternly and barked out an order “Tara Elizabeth, go and fetch my hairbrush”.

Tara fairly leaped up, knowing that any time that her middle name was used; her bottom would be very quickly ablaze moments later.

(Read the whole story here)

Mason & Pearson

A benefactor very kindly gave me a Mason & Pearson hairbrush last Friday. A Mason & Pearson! It's utterly beautiful. It was used on me a little over the course of Friday's shoot, but not nearly enough to satisfy me. In fact, that taste only served to whet my appetite: I took it with me when I went to a fetish club that evening, hoping that my date would be tempted to use it on me.

Happily, he was easily persuadable, although he waited until we got home from the club before putting me over his knee to be spanked. Slow, sensual, hard spanks that had me lifting my hips and wanting more.

Somewhat to my surprise, I haven't found the new hairbrush a particularly harsh implement so far. (For some reason, I'd imagined that fame was entirely proportional to how much it hurt.) It's beautiful, of course. Glossy, with a bit of weight to it, but not too much. It certainly doesn't have as much bite as wood; rather a delicious glow that grows gradually. You can feel the flare as each stroke connects, imagine the circle of red heat spreading out beneath your skin.

That said, my date on Friday is not a particularly violent spanker. Oh, he plays hard - the whipping he gave me with a leather quirt later on left welts that are still visible four days later. But when you're over his knee, his style is slower, more erotic. I daresay that my Mr Cameron, or another fast-and-furious spanker like Tom from Girls Boarding School, would quickly show me the harsher side of my new toy.

Speaking of which, one of the delicious things I discovered during my spanking on Friday night was how it feels to be teased with the bristle side of a hairbrush, inbetween spanks. It makes the skin all tingly and sensitive. Mmmm. So many different spanking styles, so little time ... :)

self-bondage vs. submission?

I've just been looking through the preview pages for Chimera Bondage, the site I did the self-bondage shoot with last year which I found so challenging.

The webmaster recently emailled me asking if I'd be interested in another shoot with them, and honestly? Lovely as they were to work with, I decided to say no. It was a very interesting experiment, but it wasn't for me. I may have masochistic tendencies - I may be able to fly, enter a trance state if you put me in the right headspace and cause me the right kind of pain - but at heart, I'm not a painslut out for kicks. I'm a submissive. In order to enjoy suffering I have to be suffering for someone. For me to get a thrill out of pain, someone has to be giving it to me, someone I want to make proud. Causing pain to myself is an interesting psychological experiment, but there's no depth to it. It doesn't really connect with my kink.

Of course, I'm not "properly" subbing to the top or dom every time I take a spanking on camera. It's not a deep emotional connection. But subbing on camera appeals to my professional pride. I want the studio/photographer/top to think well of me; I want the viewers to think well of me. Part of it's an exhibitionist thing - I want to look good and I like showing off, being objectified by the gaze of all the viewers who want to do all sorts of wicked things to me. I'm pretty sure I'm good at acting in spanking films and I get a performance-related thrill out of that. But most of it is roleplay. I put myself into the head of the character I'm playing and I enjoy their helplessness, their suffering.

Logically, I guess all of this could apply to self-bondage. The photographer, the studio and the viewers are all still "there" - I still want them to be proud of me. I'm playing a character who is compelled to do these things to herself, who isn't consenting to it. But somehow, it didn't click for me. Tying myself up, putting clamps on myself - I could do it, and it was absolutely fascinating finding out what it was like, but I couldn't connect to it from within my own kink. It was too self-contained. There wasn't anyone else there for me to bounce off - only the photographer, who stayed as distanced as he could so I didn't feel self-conscious or crowded. I guess I'm just not a solo performer.

That said, the spanking machine was, while slightly anti-climactic, nonetheless one of the most erotic things ever to happen to me on camera. The sensations were almost irrelevant - I was melting from the sheer idea of it! If I could do a shoot consisting solely of spanking machines without any of the self-flagellation and self-bondage, that would do me fine :) But self-bondage is such an integral part of Chimera Bondage I don't think I could get away with omitting it entirely. I could probably do it again, sure, but I wouldn't really get anything out of it, and one of the things I've promised myself since returning to modelling is to stick to shoots that really appeal to my personal tastes.

So there'll probably only be the one shoot with me at Chimera Bondage. I found it a challenge, and I'm proud of it. It didn't come easy. The photos and film of me is nowhere near the most hardcore or extreme on the site, but I don't mind that - I pushed my own limits, and that's worth something.

Writing in Shadows

Just a quick one tonight - I'm completely wiped out by an evil cold, and am hiding under my duvet desperately hoping I'll feel better in time for my shoot on Friday.

I made a new friend in the pub last weekend - a fabulous lady called Jacqueline who writes erotic fiction for a living. We had a long chat about the erotica industry, the role of kink in mainstream erotica and bi visibility. She has a website - Writing in Shadows - which is well worth taking a look at. I particularly enjoyed this F/m spanking story about a rather unconventional librarian:

Three Simple Rules

I pulled the now-whimpering man to my side office, but I didn't close the door – I didn't want to leave my readers alone for too long, and besides, I wanted everyone to see what happened, when they disobeyed the three simple rules in my library.

As soon as I crossed the threshold, my hands tugged at his expensive leather belt, using the momentum to draw him into the room. His smart blue pinstriped trousers came down in smooth folds – fine quality wool and silk will do that for you. His boxer shorts were blue too, with little paisley swirls dotted all over. He smelled of old-fashioned cologne, and cherry sweets – guilty sod.

"Up against the desk mate."

"Believe me miss, but I wasn’t doing…”

Ooh, he spoke like a merchant banker too. Nice. However, his voice was cut off by the first slap that landed on his skinny backside. The resounding crack made him shake, and he gripped the desk with white knuckles.

(more here)

Enjoy! I'm going back to bed. Sorry for the delay in replying to comments, I'll hopefully be back at my desk in the next day or two.

Hickory Switch Porter

Near Tom's flat (well, his old flat, technically - he's currently in the process of moving out) is a rather wonderful old-fashioned off licence. It caters particularly to real ale drinkers, which suits Mr C and myself down to the ground. The place is a treasure trove overflowing with weird and wonderful bottles by breweries you've never heard of, with mythic, faintly obscene-sounding names like Verger's Tipple and Mossy Ring. Home from home. We haven't tried all of them yet, but while browsing the shelves a while ago we did discover this:



I couldn't believe it when I first saw it. And then I saw the name of the artist: Lynn Paula Russell. Who is, of course, the same person as Paula Meadows, a very well-known spanking artist and model whose work was featured in various editions of Janus in the '80s, and who ended up editing as well as illustrating its sister magazine, Februs.

Quite what one of her illustrations is doing on a beer bottle, we have no clue. In case you can't make it out, the text on the label reads:

If you know someone who's been bad give 'em a taste of the switch ... the Hickory Switch! They'll surely come back for more of this smokin' ale. This beer also makes a great ingredient to chili, BBQ Sauce, or as a marinade for red meat.

Which all sounds like it was written by an American wannabe rather than a serious ale enthusiast, and has damn all to do with hickory switches or bare bottoms. Nonetheless, their website confirms that the Fallen Angel Microbrewery are Sussex-based, as English as I am, and a decent-looking independent brewery. And strange as it seems, Paula seems to be illustrating exclusive art for their beer labels on an ongoing basis. (I wonder if she's a real ale drinker too? She and I seem to have several other things in common...)

If you're a fan of Paula's art, it's well worth a browse through the Fallen Angel website, which includes several previously unseen illustrations. Most of it's relatively tame by Februs standards, but there are a couple of more risqué images, such as Kama Sutra or Tawny Rose.

Sad to say, we didn't enjoy the beer as much as the label - we both agreed that it would be better suited as a marinade than a drink. But kudos to Fallen Angel, all the same. I can't bring myself to criticise any brewery that has such excellent taste in art.

bowing her head

I've got a scary painting deadline to meet by the end of this week. It's my own fault - I've known about the deadline for a couple of months, but it's easy when there's so much else going on in my life to leave things to the last minute. I'm probably going to be up all night getting this finished in time, which means I won't be able to spend the night with Tom as we'd previously planned. Damn. I'd suggest that he punishes me, but my procrastination when it comes to painting is so deeply entrenched I'm honestly not sure spanking would help with it. :(

Of course, this morning, rather than getting on with my work like a good girl (or, indeed, a sensible adult who doesn't want to disappoint paying clients) I've been browsing EndArt. I only discovered this spanking art website half an hour ago and I could spend all day exploring it. I'll resist today, and just add it to my bookmarks until I've got this painting finished. But before I return to my easel, I wanted to post the link for any of you that haven't seen it already.

The 'schoolroom' section is, unsurprisingly, my favourite. I love the stylish girl brimming with poise and personality in Corduroy Burns. Two more of my favourites are Unwilling to Confess and The Tutor's Report Card, where the wretched body language of the blonde girls speaks volumes about their hopelessness and submission. Spanking photos always have the models holding their heads unnaturally high to let their facial expressions be visible. It's one of the hardest things I've had to learn to do on film shoots, as my natural response to real pain is to bow my head and hide my face in my hair. I can understand why facial expressions are important for the viewer, but I find these pics of girls hanging their heads really emotive.

Similar body language is featured in this picture, which I just emailled to Tom with the comment that it made me think of him:



The title of the piece, "More Than a Lapdance", might suggest that the girl's attitude is a raunchy one, and she's in for a surprise when she encounters that hairbrush. But that's not how I read this picture at all. To me, her posture seems vulnerable and submissive. She's sexy, but she's also absolutely his.

Well, that's my interpretation. I may possibly be biased :)

spanking audio?

I've recently bought a posh new bit of computer kit, in the hope of taking my spanking modelling in a slightly new direction. It's a Samson USB studio condenser microphone, and I'm planning to use it to record spanking audio stories.

I have much less experience doing spoken word than performing in front of a camera. But I've enjoyed the little I have done, such as recording voiceovers for DVDs. I love the potential audio encompasses - you aren't limited by the expense of costumes and sets; like in written stories, you can let your imagination roam freely, only with the extra frisson of the narrator's voice speaking intimately in your ear. I'm going to experiment with improvising and writing a script to read from, to see which works better. I'd like to create audio recordings that have a similar feel to late-night, intimate phone conversations, the kind Tom and I would have for hours past midnight when we lived in different cities. We'd talk about our kinks, our experiences, our fantasies. I feel very unself-conscious speaking on the phone. For some reason, not being watched by the person I'm talking to allows me to express myself more freely, and I often find I'm more articulate. I don't know if that will cross over to recording - I imagine rather more thought will need to go into it! - but we'll see.

I'm always open to commissions, so if you would like to order a personally-tailored spanking auto track based on a theme or story of your choice, for your ears only, drop me an email and we'll talk about it.

The thing I'm most looking forward to, thought, is doing recordings for public release. I'd like to record a series of spanking mp3s to offer for download through this blog. My idea is for this to include a mixture of "in character" and more personal stories. So some recordings might have me telling you about a real-life spanking scenario or punishment I've received recently - or maybe one I'm currently anticipating. In others, I might tell you about one of my fantasies, or talk in character about a punishment scenario that particularly appeals to me. Some might include soundtracks of actual live spankings. (I'm sure my boyfriends will be happy to help with this part!)

And this is where you come in. What would you like to hear on a spanking-themed mp3? What fantasies or situations would you like to hear me talk about or re-enact? How long should each recording be?

I'm really excited about this; I think there's so much scope to let the imagination run riot when you aren't constrained by the cost of sets, costumes, camera equipment. The listener can construct their own visuals to match what they're hearing, imagining it looking just as they want it to look. Leaving the visuals to the imagination not only makes the scene much more flexible, for many people the suggestive, implicit nature of the material also makes it much more erotic. I'd like to just play around with my voice and my fantasies, tell you stories and talk to you about my desires as if we were lovers on the phone in the middle of the night.

If this is the kind of thing you might want to listen to, leave a comment and let me know. I'd love to hear your ideas :)

invisible welts

D, ever the man with an eye for shiny fetish photos, recently sent me a link to this picture of two girls playing with a latex vacuum bed:



The text accompanying it notes that "you can still see the welts on Mischa's ass from where J got at her earlier."

I don't know, though. Can you? Is my eyesight going? I've looked long and hard hard, but I have to admit that no welts can I see. The idea of them is hot, though.

This is from Addictedimage Studios. There's some beautiful fetish photography on the site, and although none of it is explicitly spanking-related, some of it is very suggestive:

saunas, harem girls and early Valentines spankings

Ouch, has it really been a fortnight since I last blogged? So much for furthering the cause of feminism with behind-the-scenes commentary!

My extracurricular activities have been even busier than usual recently. The weekend before last Mr Cameron and I went on our annual Shakespeare fest of acting, beer and music. It was tremendous fun, and for the first year we had a private room, but due to lots of late nights doing plays and drinking with our thespian friends, I'm afraid we didn't manage to fit any spanking in. We did spend a lot of time in the sauna, though - like eating very spicy food, I've always thought saunas offered a useful analogy for explaining why being spanked is fun. It starts out pleasantly warming, but over time builds up until the heat is almost unbearable. You endure it as long as you can, knowing that the longer you can last the better you'll feel afterwards. Eventually you can't take any more and you have to stop - but afterwards, the ordeal is rewarded by an invigorated feeling of glowing relaxation and energy.

While we were there it snowed on the Friday night. I was in the middle of an impromptu music session at the time, but some of my friends who were in the sauna took advantage of the weather to run outside, straight from the heat of the steamroom to frolic in the snow. Disappointingly, they didn't do more than run about a bit with towels still wrapped around themselves, letting the snowflakes melt on their arms and faces. I can understand that they didn't want shocked locals to call the police, but surely being whipped with birch switches is an essential part of the Swedish tradition?

Since returning from Elizabethan times to 21st century North London, I've been rushed off my feet, and I'm fully booked over the next couple of weeks, including another trip away. The good news for you guys is that this includes two shoots next week, both of which will hopefully result in new spanking photos to show you all! I'm looking forward to both of the shoots. One will hopefully involve lots of erotic spanking and Victorian underwear (yay!), and the other is with my old friends English Spankers.

Of course, next week also contains Valentines day, which can be one of the busiest periods of the year for us polyamorous types. I'm beginning to think that next year I might have to ignore Valentines for the sake of my sanity, but my beloveds and I do like taking the opportunity to indulge ourselves. I've spent most of the last couple of days in bed with Tom - he and I made time for our romantic celebrations a few days early, as we're both busy later in the week.

A good friend recently installed a couple of suspension points in my ceiling, but although we'd planned to make use of them, we never actually got around to it. But I did get soundly spanked several times over the course of the day; in pyjamas and out of them, over the knee, with hand, tawse, wooden paddle and thin whippy switch. I particularly enjoyed one over the knee spanking where he raised his right leg higher than normal, lifting my bottom high into the air and leaving me thorough exposed with my face buried in the pillows. I think my favourite was the paddling, though. He started slow, with a warm-up set of 12 and then another of 24, while I knelt over pillows in the middle of the bed with my pyjama bottoms around my knees. Then I got a "proper" set of 24, by the end of which I was shouting and kicking as each firm swat connected with my stinging flesh. I've discovered that a good yell is definitely the most therapeutic response to a hard thwack from a wooden paddle. It releases a lot of the overwhelming stimulation of every inch of my cheeks coming ablaze at once, allows me to process it and settle back down to wait for the next one. Cane strokes make me yelp and whimper, but I definitely find the paddle easier to endure if I let myself shout a bit.

I don't know if there are more spankings in store for me on the 14th - that's up to D, with whom I'm spending Valentines Day itself. What with shoots either side of it, if he's not in the mood my poor bottom will probably be glad of the rest! We are planning to go the Torture Garden Valentines Ball the following weekend, though, and what's the point of going to a fetish club if not to make use of the dungeon furniture?

I'll be dressing as a harem girl: low-slung, loose flowing trousers in shimmery, see-through fabric, with a matching bikini top jangling with little coins, and a veil covering my face. I don't know what my owner will have in store for me, but it could be anything from dancing for his pleasure to feeling the sting of his whip. Maybe he'll punish me for not having paid close enough attention at my bellydancing classes? I enjoy dancing, but I'm horribly self-conscious and find performing for people very difficult and humiliating - which makes for a powerful headspace in scenes. I've played a harem girl roleplay once before, and it was very memorable and intense.

I'm sure my new outfit will be put to good use on shoots as well as in private. If there any slavegirl or 'Arabian Nights' style scenarios you'd particularly like to see, let me know and I'll suggest them next time I'm filming :)

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I've got a busy few days coming up, but even so I'll try and post more regularly. I get a lot out of writing here, and I don't want to let myself get out of the habit. Self-discipline never was one of my strong points...

Sugasm #116

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #117? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
In Case Of Fire
“His hand slid around the back of my neck and pulled me close - easily, no effort at all, letting me feel the power of his arms and the warm puff of his breath against my ear.”

It was a long night…
“I gasped as he slowly pushed in one finger, slippery with oil, and began to wiggle it and spread me open.”

Sex Worker Confessions: Gracie Passette
“But underneath it all, sex workers are all about bridging, in body & soul, word & deed, the irreconcilable differences between realities and desires.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Persian Kitty Alternative

Editor’s Choice
Baker’s Birthday

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

feminist spanking porn - redux

I just wanted to say thankyou to Adele and Niki for taking up the thread of my post on how feminist politics can be reconciled with creating M/f spanking porn. Each of them has a thought-provoking perspective on the issue which is well worth reading if you haven't already. I've particularly got a lot out of reading the comments, which have been fascinating and insightful, and I'm really pleased that so many people have contributed to the discussion :)

Unfortunately all my attempts to join in with the conversations on either Adele's or Niki's blog have been thwarted by an overactive spam filter blocking all my comments¹. I'm hoping this can be remedied, but in the meantime, be assured that I am reading and engaging with everything that's being said! It's frustrating not being able to participate, but I shall see it as a much-needed exercise in patience. Hopefully I'll be able to respond to everyone's thoughtful replies soon - and if not, trust me that it wasn't through lack of interest. Perhaps I'll save up my replies and post them here instead, but I'm wary of letting this thread take over my blog entirely...

1. Obviously, as a feminist I am convinced that this is all the fault of the patriarchy. My voice as a woman is being silenced! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Look at the violence inherent in the system! Etc.

Spanking Fear and Shackled Maidens

Thanks to my friends over at Spanking Delights, I recently saw these previews from a shoot I did with Spanking Fear last summer. Fans of Northern Spanking and Bars and Stripes will recognise the inimitable Stephen Lewis, an excellent dom with a firm hand and a VERY comfortable lap - it's always a pleasure to work with him!

There's a free clip on the site of a scene where I was playing his slave - a woman he's abducted and is now trying to teach to be obedient. On the same day we also filmed a clip where I was his "human pet" and kept in a cage wearing only a collar and leather bondage mittens - I don't know about him but I enjoyed that far too much!



In my opinion, the best aspect of these stills and clips is the photography and lighting. Everything is so moody and atmospheric. It's not surprising when you realise that Spanking Fear is run by the same production company as famous bondage site Shackled Maidens, and they have some very well-known faces (and bottoms) modelling for them. Which goes some way towards explaining how they managed to get Kumi Monster acting in a very rare spanking movie ...