Acceptable fantasies?
A fascinating debate has sprung up on the happytails forum, concerning the moral responsibility of depicting certain types of non-consensual or historically-based fantasy.
The trigger issue is Niki Flynn's much-lauded recent film 'The Spy' with pain4fem (I haven't seen it yet, but I'm planning to when I next have some spare pocket money). If you're interested in questions of the boundary between fantasy and reality, if and how we should draw a line between acceptable fantasies and unacceptable ones, and the extent we as fetishists should take responsibility for the content and consequences of our fantasies, then the thread is well worth a read.
I may contribute my own opinions at some point, but right now I need to tidy my room ;) In the meantime a lot of people are making some very good points a lot more articulately than I could - for example, this comment by Michael:
"Ninety percent of everything shown in every spanking video ever made would be a sex crime if it actually happened. If we eliminate sex crimes from our repertoire, we are left with nothing but adult consensual DD and kinky foreplay. [...] We get off on stuff that's illegal to actually do. We have to live with it.
[...] There's a further wrinkle in the case, specifically, of our kink -- the extent to which we are worried what the vanillas think. This has specific applications -- the problem some sites have getting credit card approval for their content -- and more general ones -- do we censor ourselves so that the larger culture won't think we're "dangerous" and decide to suppress us? I see our emphasis on "safe, sane, and consensual" -- which is an excellent guideline for actual play, but a lousy description of the content of our fantasies -- as relating as much to how we present ourselves to a potentially oppressive outside world as to what we say to each other. Do we try, in anything the vanillas have access to, to try to make ourselves look like harmless, fun-loving, butt-smackin' kinksters who may be ridiculous or amusing but are totally non-threatening, to avoid giving them an excuse to repress us? Or are we honest and open about the full range of our interests and fantasies, and stand up for our rights of freedom of thought and expression?"





wow - i'm off toread this - it sounds fascinating.
ReplyDeleteHi, Pandora; this is Michael, whom you quoted. I'm glad you found the discussion interesting and my comments worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteJust while we're on this subject there's a fascinating sounding new book just published by Brett Kahr called 'Sex and the Psyche'.
ReplyDeleteThere's a good review by the ever reliable Rowan Pelling (from this Saturday's Guardian).
http://books.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,,2025097,00.html
Here's a key passage:
'I was particularly glad to finally get some proper statistics on "le vice anglais": 18% of British males and 7% of British females fantasise about spanking someone else, while 11% of males and 13% of females fantasise about being spanked. Where the data seem inadequate, and there are several similarly frustrating instances in the book, is in the failure to demonstrate how the two categories - spankers and spankees - overlap. All Kahr is able to conclude is that "anywhere between 5 million and 11 million grown-ups have derived sexual pleasure from fantasies of spanking in one form or another".
Trade
ReplyDeleteWas sup U Have Been listed @
Adult Blogger Blogs
http://sgolbreggolb.blogspot.com/
http://sgolbreggolb.blogspot.com/2005/04/adult-blogger-blogs-p-list.html
A Link back would be Appreciated
Thanks Cigamybab
Michael - thanks for writing it! It's a fascinating issue ... I don't have all the answers yet, but discussion is always positive, I think :)
ReplyDeleteAnon - thanks for the link. I'm never sure how accurately representative these surveys are, but up-to-date figures are always interesting.
Hi Pandora,
ReplyDeleteFair point on the accuracy of these surveys; I must have a look at the book this weekend to ascertain precisely what methodology produces these figures. I don't know about you but to me they have the ring of truth.
I should have read your blog before I wrote my latest entry - you beat me to it! LOL Can I steal the advice of your commenter? "Sex and the Psyche" sounds well worth a read.
ReplyDelete-Niki