spanking pr0n

We were looking at domain names the other day, and discovered that www.spankingpr0n.com is still available. I'm so tempted to buy it, you wouldn't believe. It'd be a parody site, of course.

I can see it now. Galleries of obviously faked stills; sinister, moustached doms threatening dreadful punishments; girls reacting with exaggerated mock-horror, falling into swoons amid cries of "OH NOES! A SPANKING!", "I've NEVER been spanked before!" "Oh, sir, please do not spank me on my bare bottom!" Spanking clips with comic-book special effects flashing across the screen, Batman-style, at every stroke ("THWACK!! SMACK!!"), followed by the over-acted shrieks of the girls ("AIEEEEEE!!"). Or perhaps bored models, tapping their fingers on the floor as they're bent over a knee - "Oh, no, the pain. Hayelp, hayelp. No no, please, stop. Think of the children" (Actually they probably couldn't include that last bit for legal reasons) - and tying their doms' shoelaces together without them noticing.

It'd be a combination of the hilarious reality of CP-gone-wrong, merciless pastiches of all the best (or worse) clichés of the genre, sarcastic scene satire, and pure silliness. Noisy pyjama parties interrupted by an angry dad who proceeds to soundly spank each crying girl with her own fluffy teddybear. Domestic discipline scenes using teaspoons rather than wooden spoons. Spankings using paddleball bats with the little ball flying everywhere and getting in the way. Undisciplined secretaries who, while bent over the desk for punishment, call their boss's mobile from the desk phone without him noticing, and run away giggling as he stops spanking her to answer it. Birches and switches that still have the leaves attached. Spankings rudely interrupted by the cat knocking a mug of hot tea all over the dom's lap. Adult 'schoolgirls' who are blatantly older and bigger than their 'teachers'. The Spanish Inquisition trying (repeatedly) to run a serious punishment scene using soft cushions and a comfy chair.

Well, I'd watch it.